This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
it is like before, i think i like them both, i should close my eyes, become the racing horse, sing to pay window in an awful line, so easy now, i have won, go easy now, we're with everyone, gamble with hurt and fun, i parlay my loss, they both pour in strong
i think we'll end up, maybe waving this off, you caught me winking at a crazy whore, and laying with that lady in the yard
turn the sirens off, start the table talk, and you go from one to the next divorce, we're an even match, hedge your bets, recall the end, that's all the end is, they shoot the racing horse, shoot the racing horse, cash in your bets and fly, move east, divorce, still at the pay window, there's that awful line
and if we end up, maybe just waving this off, i'll go drinking at the crazy horse, because i never know my baby anymore
turn the sirens off, turn the sirens off and you go from one, to the next divorce, we're an even match, hedge your bets, recall the end, all the rest
and i can't even react, countries slide into the sea, it's a grave at all four walls, this here is all you hear, cities and homes ready for the greatest plunge, but if i could be left out, or carried on without, it'd get so queer livin in this doubt, i'll disappear, cover up your ears, that's the last you'll hear of me, i am gone.
i think we'll end up, maybe waving this off, you caught me winking at a crazy whore, and laying with that lady in the yard
turn the sirens off, start the table talk, and you go from one to the next divorce, we're an even match, hedge your bets, recall the end, that's all the end is, they shoot the racing horse, shoot the racing horse, cash in your bets and fly, move east, divorce, still at the pay window, there's that awful line
and if we end up, maybe just waving this off, i'll go drinking at the crazy horse, because i never know my baby anymore
turn the sirens off, turn the sirens off and you go from one, to the next divorce, we're an even match, hedge your bets, recall the end, all the rest
and i can't even react, countries slide into the sea, it's a grave at all four walls, this here is all you hear, cities and homes ready for the greatest plunge, but if i could be left out, or carried on without, it'd get so queer livin in this doubt, i'll disappear, cover up your ears, that's the last you'll hear of me, i am gone.
Lyrics submitted by ObscuredInDevotion
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This is damn amazing