Ever throwing at his home
Two glass houses, twenty stones
Fourteen yellow, six are blue
Could it be worse quite doubtful

Two steps forward, three steps back
Without warning, heart attack
He fell asleep in the snow
Never woke up, died alone

Please don't dress in black
When you're at his wake
Don't go there to mourn
But to celebrate

Lyrics submitted by open_veins

"I Don't Wanna Be Me" as written by Peter Thomas Steele

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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I Don't Wanna Be Me song meanings
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  • +4
    General CommentI'd personally say that it means that he feels his life is getting crappier by the day and that he's doing nothing really to stop it. The idea of throwing stones in glass houses generally means that you're doing or saying something to harm yourself.

    I'd also read at one point on Type O's homepage that Peter had an addiction to Hagen Daas at one point, it could be in response to that and his attempt to "kick the habit".
    Tarrant7575on May 26, 2004   Link
  • +2
    General Comment"I don't wanna be me anymore"

    That should be pretty self-explanitory.

    "Ever throwing at his home
    Two glass houses, twenty stones"

    There are two sides (each represented by a glass house) to what's going on with the band when it comes to audiences. One, you have the people who like the (realitively speaking) unpopular style of music that they do, the slow, dragging, dark music that Type O Negative is most often associated with. The other, the side that is most often commericalized, put on the radio, and sold to the masses for profit, the side with the big record labels, airplay, touring and often "selling out" side of music.

    Because they are always (ever) caught between the two a step towards one is a step away from the other, hence the throwing the stones at his home.

    "Fourteen yellow, six are blue
    Could it be worse.. quite doubtful"

    When you mix yellow and blue you get green, the color of the onstage attire that is attributed to them, as you can see in the music video.

    "Two steps forward, three steps back
    Without warning, heart attack"

    Every step forward in their Peter's career is also a step back because he hates publicity at times. He doesn't enjoy live shows because he's self conscious about himself when infront of people. On top of that, when he was interviewed by one of the members of Anthrax he mentioned how his music was being exploited by the recording label (Roadrunner?) to make money. He recieved pressure from the label to create more songs with a mainstream style after the commercial success of this song and album. He saw it comming.

    "He fell asleep in the snow
    Never woke up, died alone"

    He also mentioned that they don't have true fans that stick with them over time (between albums, sounds, after one hit, etc.) and they forget about the band, and once you lose a following it's hard to get them back, which is why they've lost popularity over the years.

    "Please don't dress in black
    When you're at his wake"

    He's speaking out against the stereotype of rock bands struggling to maintain popularity and then only being heard of every now and again.

    "Don't go there to mourn
    But to celebrate"

    He's saying that he's not doing it for the popularity. Hell, like his idol (and mine) Kurt Cobain of Nirvana who felt the need to isolate the band from the masses of fans, he feels that if fewer people listen to him then he's not out anything. In a sense, it's actually what he wants.

    Side note:

    The music video is about how the music company wants them to be something that they're not, a money making sellout. The man that walks into he house looks like he works in an office and it shows that Type O Negative being a commercially successful band for the company is just a pathetic fantasy and that it's not going to happen, which explains the last scene where the man acts as though he can't believe what's happening and he becomes trapped.
    spades_the_guyon May 03, 2007   Link
  • +2
    General CommentOh the cruel irony of this song. almost like Peter predicted his own end.

    Peter you will be missed.
    shaigorathon August 29, 2010   Link
  • +1
    General CommentWell the Yellow stones are of trial and purging. The Blue is the Word and healing power of God, those colors are significant biblically. 20 sins and only six forgiven. Now I just wonder, who he is singing about???
    Camarueon November 25, 2004   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI like the video of this one. It may have a different meaning than the lyrics but it's worth checking out.
    Durang0on September 01, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI heard this song on the Cinema mod for Max Payne 2 and it's just a great song.
    TheConductoron April 11, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHey conducter, hehe yeah i heard it too on the cinema mod.. great song... but as for the meaning.. i really dont know..
    Ballystixon May 17, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI'd have to agree with Tarrant7575 about the meaning. I love this song, it was the one that got me into Type O Negative.
    Shadowbitchon May 28, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthe verses make it appear to be about someone dying. i think maybe it is about someone not wanting to be alive, and that others should celebrate his death because that's how he'd want it.
    OllieTheMeekon June 30, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"Two steps forward, three steps back" reminds me Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, and "He fell asleep in the snow / Never woke up, died alone" reminds me On the road to Brighton by Richard Middleton. I can't figure out if there is some connection between the song and those stories.
    Abikuon June 20, 2008   Link

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