This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
That's life, that's what I say,
Shot up in April, strung out in may,
But I know it won't, be too soon,
When I'm back on, night train in June,
I said that's life, as funny as it may seem,
All of my friends get their kicks stompin on my dreams
But I don't let it let it get me down
'cause this fucked up world keeps me spinning around
I've been a pupet, pauper, pirate a poet, a pawn & a king,
I've been up and down over and out and I know one thing,
Each time I find my self flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race that's life
I tell ya I can't deny it t thought of quittin
Lady my heart ain't gonna buy it and if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd shoot me up a bag and then id fly that's life
And I have defied it many times I have cut out
But I haven't died yet and if there is nothing shakin
By this July I'm gonna shoot myself up with a speed ball & die!
Shot up in April, strung out in may,
But I know it won't, be too soon,
When I'm back on, night train in June,
I said that's life, as funny as it may seem,
All of my friends get their kicks stompin on my dreams
But I don't let it let it get me down
'cause this fucked up world keeps me spinning around
I've been a pupet, pauper, pirate a poet, a pawn & a king,
I've been up and down over and out and I know one thing,
Each time I find my self flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race that's life
I tell ya I can't deny it t thought of quittin
Lady my heart ain't gonna buy it and if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd shoot me up a bag and then id fly that's life
And I have defied it many times I have cut out
But I haven't died yet and if there is nothing shakin
By this July I'm gonna shoot myself up with a speed ball & die!
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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Great cover of an old song by Frank Sinatra. This song makes me want to not only break stuff, but also makes me want to skate. Duane Peters is the best at this stuff, so if you ever see any coverage of him, you'll know what i mean
With the ending "shoot myself up with a speed ball and DIE" I don't think he is condoning suicide, he's saying that the option of choosing life or death is always there. Nothing good will ever be easy, so no use complaining about it. If you have a shitty life, it's no one's fault but your own... so to make things right, you have to take responsibility and put in the effort.