Look... If you had one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the tv you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush,
Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo!

Remote is ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty
The Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma and Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul
They're dying, Wow!
Wannabe's are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Show's based on reality
Oh the humanity!
Oh! Ozzy's family!
Sho' loves profanity!
Whoa! The insanity!
Oh! Dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No! They live happily
Yo! Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh there's Anna Nicole
She's scaring me
Look ma, no cavities!
Oh! It's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

You're gonna lose your mind watchin tv they told me
They scold me, but I still tune in every show
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime

(You're gonna) lose your mind watchin' TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos!"
Gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime

My butt is aching as I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King to "24" to "Law and Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters next up on "E True Hollywood Story"
The rise and decline of twelve actors named Corey
Shows for next fall, they've already been naming
"CSI: Boise", and "Touched By An Uncle", both sound prettying lame, man
so does "Everybody Tolerates Raymond"
and "King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it.
I move right on to "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenaged Daughter"
Then I bet I watch "The Bachelorette"
Followed by "Welcome Back, Kotter"
And "The Muppet Show" where they go "Mahna Mahna"

You're gonna lose your mind watching TV they told me
They scold me but I still tune in every show
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Disney Channel, and A&E and Lifetime

(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
Cajoled me, but I still love Lisa Kudrow
I'm looking at C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost in Space"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "Without a Trace"
But I only watched "Will and Grace" one time one day
Wished I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Oh and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambition
Next week on FOX, watch lions eat christians
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech covered grub eatin' fools on Survivor
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna and hey there's Luke Perry
And a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Wanna turn on ET cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot then we go back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos". I forgot!
I love shows with or without a plot
I stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
They scold me, but I still tune into every show
My cable's gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime

(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!"
I got it on C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime

You can watch anything you want to, man.

Lyrics submitted by rjbucs28, edited by Jirachibi

Couch Potato song meanings
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  • +1
    General CommentJust like the song Cable TV, he's talking about people's dependency on television. It's hard to tell whether he is kidding or not with the line "next week on FOX watch lions eat Christians"
    captainbackfireon July 03, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEminem is suck a jackass. He won't let Al do a video for it.
    fuckyouallon July 05, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEminem is just like Coolio: he denies that he gave permission to do the song.... the music video of Couch potato would be awesome if Weird Al was allowed to make one... i saw him perform Couch Potato at a concert... it was cool...next best thing to a music video
    Weirdalspizzaon May 09, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIn this day and age, I thought anybody who had a chance to make a pile of extra money would jump on any chance to do it. I guess the last comment or two shows counterexamples to my initial point. I guess when a famous song is used as a joke, capitalism and humor are "in"-inexorable. They are mutually exclusive in the minds of the copyright holders. Coolio probably had a greater right to bitch than Eminem did. He's a one hit wonder, may two-hit max. How many hits has Eminem had? If you can't stand to have a good parody done to your song, then why not do it? Weird Al has a proven track record of making great parodies, and this is one of them. Amish Paradise is a comedy classic. Why can't these artists agree to let the court jester run with the ball? He's harmless and he has his niche within the world. If we didn't have ability to laugh at ourselves, then what would we have left?
    OpinionHeadon December 05, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti adore eminem, but i also think hes being a HUGE puss about not letting weird al do a musci video
    pinkandtwistedon January 09, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti like both Eminem and Al, but i like Eminem a little less now for not letting Al do a video, but i still like him. That would have been an awesome video though...
    xXRoCk_QuEeNXxon July 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentMy God, when you see it all typed out, you really see how long the lyrics to this song are! To write a parody that long and tight, just goes to show what a genius Al is. And Eminem sucks, but at least Al got his back in the AlTV Interview!!
    GromReaperon September 11, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI love this song. Eminem is a precious little baby if he won't let Al do a video of this parody. Eminem says that if that happens then he wouldn't be taken seriously.

    Get over it Slim, people take anger, violence, and homophobia pretty damn seriously you twit. Besides there are tons of Eminem parodies already and Slim parodies himself in his own videos-just watch the video for The Real Slim Shady. Besides, Em parodies so many people and insults tons of them. He's an arrogant fucker. I used to be a big fan of him but now i only seldomly listen to some of his songs. In my opinion he's sold out and his music has gotten much worse

    Al has been doing a kick ass job for over 25 years now
    River Wolfon February 06, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWAYAlbuquerque you damn bible basher: get a life and stop trying to push your bullshit beliefs onto everyone else. If he read the bible he'd end up stoning prostitutes rather than slapping them! Even if Eminem is really as messed up as he claims to be (which i beleive is infact a marketing gimmick), what he needs in his heart is NOT some guy who lived over 2000 years ago who's powers had been over eggagerated through the power of the urban legend and chinese wispers for over 100 years before a little book was written about him. I don't care what you belive in WAYAlbuquerque, but stop trying to push your values onto everyone else - religion has caused more deaths and hate in the world then anything else you could possibly think of.
    I apoligise to other non-bible-bashing christians that I may have offended.

    BTW: It is a bit wanked off Eminem didn't let Al do a video, it could have been awesome.
    leakegon August 09, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWow leakeq, intolerant much?
    jimboa18on October 18, 2006   Link

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