I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
with a rabid wolverine in my underwear
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?
Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
but about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was walkin' to the kitchen
for some Golden Grahams
when I accidentally stepped
into an alternate dimension
and soon I was abducted by
some aliens from space
who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
and they took some polaroids and said I was
a darn good sport
and as a way of saying thank you
they offered to transport me back to any
point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last
Thursday night
so I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
when I got a nasty papercut
and, well, to make a long story short
it got infected and I died
so now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by
the pearly gates
and it's obvious he doesn't like the
Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
for all eternity
and every day he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore because the
simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong


Lyrics submitted by Demau Senae

Everything You Know Is Wrong song meanings
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10 Comments

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  • +3
    General CommentOK, I just checked stuff up on this song, and I found out that this is a style-parody of They Might Be Giants.
    PGMon August 24, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General Commentthis song is so amazing.
    perintasticon April 30, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentSomething in a sense like Albuquerque, and just shows how we got the 'weird' in WEird Al!
    captainbackfireon July 03, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthey does anyone know if this is a parody
    Metallica42on June 24, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIt's not listed as a parody on the lyrics sheet. It may be a style parady, I don't know.
    PGMon August 24, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIts a parody on they might be giants
    Rokon December 11, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling.." I love that part
    danizzygurlon September 29, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentAnother one of my favorites. Al is at his best when he just exploits the absurdity of something to it's full extent.
    Bonehead XLon October 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song makes me happy
    funkboyon July 09, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI just watched the music video for U2's "The Fly", and one of the text phrases seen during the song is the phrase "everything you know is wrong". Weird Al's next song on Bad Hair Day after "Everything You Know is Wrong" is Cavity Search, a parody of U2's "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me".

    Somewhat obscure reference to U2 the song before a U2 parody: Coincidence?
    Mmeanon February 01, 2012   Link

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