I believe this is another amazingly on point and nuanced commentary on the insanity that follows emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser has no anxieties, no emotional pain, or salience/memory for that matter, so the survivor appears to be the crazy one, obsessed with the abuse and that buzzword that seems to ignite arguments about diagnosing people without a degree, etc. funny how you say the words domestic violence, abuse, abuse survivor and boom the subject changes. Anyways, I especially relate to her midnights becoming afternoons, complex PTSD often leads to this phenomenon, whether due to purposeful sleep deprivation by the abuser, or just hyper vigilance associated with the PTSD, along with the fear of facing people, especially your loved ones, who
Never actually understand, even if they try, because all they see is you, on fire, screaming about the arsonist that no one ever sees, and who has been spreading lies about your alleged mental instability, deceptive personality, etc. the whole time. While the last thing survivors need is more blame, our society supports a narrative that blames the objectively innocent party because the blatantly guilty party has spent their entire lives fabricating a persona and we’re just being human, and human psychology is quite counterintuitive especially in the context of trauma. Look at Amber Heard. Vilified and not believed, regardless of what any abuse survivor could recognize as a fellow survivor instantly. But Johnny depp is a malignant narcissist, a man, and wealthy as all get out. It’s sick.
This is why events unnerve me
They find it all, a different story
Notice whom for wheels are turning
Turn again and turn towards this time
All she asks is the strength to hold me
Then again the same old story
Word will travel, oh so quickly
Travel first and lean towards this time
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows it's got to be this time
Watching her, these things she said
The times she cried
Too frail to wake this time
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows, it's got to be this time
Avenues all lined with trees
Picture me and then you start watching
Watching forever
Forever
Watching love grow, forever
Letting me know, forever
They find it all, a different story
Notice whom for wheels are turning
Turn again and turn towards this time
All she asks is the strength to hold me
Then again the same old story
Word will travel, oh so quickly
Travel first and lean towards this time
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows it's got to be this time
Watching her, these things she said
The times she cried
Too frail to wake this time
Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown
Heaven knows, it's got to be this time
Avenues all lined with trees
Picture me and then you start watching
Watching forever
Forever
Watching love grow, forever
Letting me know, forever
Lyrics submitted by numb, edited by lokithecat
Ceremony Lyrics as written by Ian Kevin Curtis Bernard Sumner
Lyrics © Kanjian Music, Universal Music Publishing Group, Songtrust Ave, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
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A true love lost.
Unrequited?
How noble.
This song is beautiful, and strikes me to the core every single time I hear it. It reminds me that we all feel similiar feelings. We're all different, but we all yearn. "Ceremony" reminds me that happier times are best remembered as happy. And the realities are always harshest when they hit deep.
I don't know you, backinburntcity. But I do know we both have a burning pain. Pushing through that pain, trying each and every day is all you can do. There are always blue skies and bright green blades of grass, you just can't always see them. Please think twice before electing to take your young life.
P.S. I was going to recommend "Bright Eyes" to you, I see you are already acquainted with Conor. If so check out "Burn Rubber." He covered it on a single. You'll find it...
It's possible to heal from abuse & fight through depression, without pills too. Good luck to anyone else going through it.