Uncle Walter

Ben Folds Five

Your Uncle Walter's going on and on
'Bout everything he's seen and done
The voice of 50 years experience
He's drunk, watching the television
You know he's been around the world
Last night he flew to Baghdad
In his magical armchair
Cigarettes and a six pack, he just got back
Now the spit's flying everywhere

Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on)
You're back so late (Where did you go that you were gone so long)
How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter

Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots
He drove his chair in the cavalcade
He's flown from South Africa
To countries where
They beat themselves on the backs with chains
There was a fleet of battleships
And 1 reclining chair
Headed north on the Arabian Sea
Now he's back to tell us what
He and his oldest boy Blair
They're getting rich with their mail order scheme

Oh, oh (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on)
We're so glad you're home (Where did you go that you were gone so long)
How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter

Your Uncle Walter told me
Everything he'd do if he was president
Oh what a perfect world
This world would be
If he was President now
But he's not

And he sees the children smoking pot
He knows that in a moment
They'll be shooting up heroin
Teardrops in his armchair
A 50 minute lecture
Tobacco juice rolling down his chin

Hey, hey, hey, hey (Your Uncle Walter's going on and on)
You're back so late (Where did you go that you were gone so long)
How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter


Lyrics submitted by kevin

Uncle Walter Lyrics as written by Ben Folds

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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Uncle Walter song meanings
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10 Comments

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  • +1
    General Comment
    The first time i hear the lyric "Last night he flew to Baghdad In his magical armchair" I thought that he said "Last night he found a baguette in his magical armchair" kind of wish it was...
    dante hickson April 15, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General Comment
    ...but he's NOT!!!!!!
    Archaia Sophiaon October 09, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    ...we all have relatives like this
    PJ10on May 23, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    Ben was in a band with older college students when he was in high school and they would go out and leave ben with one of the band members uncle walter. "Where did you go that you were gone so long"....
    supraxon September 29, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    I think this song is hilarious. Probably everyone has been in a situation like this where the person won't shut up and think they are right about everything.
    moonshadow158on December 18, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    The first time i hear the lyric "Last night he flew to Baghdad In his magical armchair" I thought that he said "Last night he found a baguette in his magical armchair" kind of wish it was...
    dante hickson April 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    I love it when go goes, "but he's NOT!" and also the pot smoking sound effects during the last verse.
    Wrapidon April 16, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    is it bad that this song reminds me of my grandma... am I a terrible person??
    prinuton June 05, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    "Where did you go that you were gone so long? And how could you leave me here so long With Uncle Walter" that sounds so funny^^ i know that situation, when a pesky person tells you so many uninteresting things and your buddy has to leave suddenly and you´re waiting ages until he´s back. and the piano sounds so great in that song!
    DerWeron February 02, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment
    More generally, the focus is on Walter being a hypocrite.
    Thunderbolton May 01, 2011   Link

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