This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I’m trying
To do what’s best for me
Most nights sitting in a parked car
Reminiscing times
I got you we can go far
There’s something
About your ways that’s changed
Check back in a year you’ll see
You’ll take back what you said to me
Things change when you grow up in a small town
I used to give a fuck but I don’t really know now
Simple ways when i’d bike down the block
4 kids, cold days, just skipping some rocks
Most times it never feels the same
I can’t keep up while you’re playing these games
Change my ways, as i read this note
I can’t tell you this
But I love you she wrote
It’s time you take a step back
Realize that you would miss that
Stuck in jersey on the other side of the map
While you drink away your pain
Pretending that’ll fix that
Same school, same moves
Somethings gotta change soon
Been feeling so alone that nothing really gives a great mood
People tell you give it all that you got
Until you suffer some more, lie awake and rot
Long drives, faint days
I want to feel the rain
I want to know that someone out there’s gotta feel the same.
Stepping outside, first time today
Retrace my mind, clear my thoughts away
To do what’s best for me
Most nights sitting in a parked car
Reminiscing times
I got you we can go far
There’s something
About your ways that’s changed
Check back in a year you’ll see
You’ll take back what you said to me
Things change when you grow up in a small town
I used to give a fuck but I don’t really know now
Simple ways when i’d bike down the block
4 kids, cold days, just skipping some rocks
Most times it never feels the same
I can’t keep up while you’re playing these games
Change my ways, as i read this note
I can’t tell you this
But I love you she wrote
It’s time you take a step back
Realize that you would miss that
Stuck in jersey on the other side of the map
While you drink away your pain
Pretending that’ll fix that
Same school, same moves
Somethings gotta change soon
Been feeling so alone that nothing really gives a great mood
People tell you give it all that you got
Until you suffer some more, lie awake and rot
Long drives, faint days
I want to feel the rain
I want to know that someone out there’s gotta feel the same.
Stepping outside, first time today
Retrace my mind, clear my thoughts away
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I totally have a different take on this- because I lived it. I dated a guy for a little over a year, and being indecisive as to whether I wanted him or my ex, I dumped him for the ex. Big mistake. Ex treated me like crap, and all I wanted was the guy I dumped back. It was like I had a big secret, and I could not get close to him to tell him. He wanted nothing to do with me- because I had humiliated him and broken his heart. I would run into him in social situations, but he avoided me. He didn't answer my phone calls. I wanted him back so badly. All I could think was "How do I get you alone" - so I could apologize and tell him what he meant to me. Never did "Get Him Alone." LOL
@mauimuffin I can relate to that meaning too