14 years and a pile of Ashes

I'm sorry I hadn't burned up,
In fires long ago.
I wish I were pile of ashes.
Here I lye just like always/
Dull and fucked.
Sweep me up, throw me away.
If bleeding is pleading
and dying is seeing;
Let me plead untill I see.
Here I lye just like always
Dull and fucked
On caressed surfaces.
Let me go/I'm still here
Let me go again...