If Ya Must

it's important to practice good hygeine
at least if ya wanna run with my team
i'm bout to get into some shit that i've seen
this fool's breath, i mean so bad it'll melt your ice cream
they say don't say nothing if you can't say nice things
sittin too close to him, it burned, like my eyes stinged
i try to be subtle, hand him a stick of gum
i was a victim of breath on him
runnin his yap about what sets he from
gotta get some gum, gotta get him some
he turned it down, his teeth was brown
excrutiating for him, it was a new sensation
i had to ask the dope to pass the soap
cuz his toe had the sniff of crustaceans
or bathrooms in the bus station
he had a can of old e and some raisins
amazing...head to toe b.o.
he didn't know, used to the fragrance
just as the days went by without bathing
he felt manly and not like a maiden
he had one dread and fungus
said he worked on people's toilets with plungers
girls like a guy who would wanna tongue ya [?]
so guys take a cue from this little number
[chorus]
you gotta wash yo ass
if ya must
you gotta wash yo hair
if ya must
you gotta brush yo teeth
if ya must
or else you'll be funkyyyyyyy
now at class you need total concentration
but there's kids in the back holding conversations
crackin on each other, neither were poster boys
both of em smell like the type that soap avoids
coast and joy, they leave their absence
one fool's feet smelled like they struck some matchsticks
brimstone, girls would never bring him home
i was laughing, then his friend raised his tone
and said "bud, you rolled all over yourself"
"yeah"
i know some people your ass should be submerged
like you need to deal with water cuz you smell like a turd
wanna cap get some courage, your feet smell lurid
well look it up
and while you're at it get a cup
and squeeze the sweat out your sweatshirt and drink it or gargle
you get our vote for most stinkiest
that n---- started thinkin of shit, said i was frail
i said he was stale
underarms is ripe
undergarments tight, about to leap out your holy sweats
and we holdin bets, after this i'm gonna collect
n---- check yourself
respect yourself
and wash your mothafuckin' body 'fore your sweatshirt melts
like radioactive, no lady find you attractive
the funk got you captive
you don't need a map bitch
[chorus]