Fade To Black

My son was only 15 ½ years old in 1997 when his father died of heart disease just before Christmas. At the time, he was learning to play an acoustic guitar. Soon after his father‘s death, he discovered “Metallica” and “Fade to Black”. For weeks, I could hear him (alone in his room), learning to play “Fade to Black “. It didn’t take him very long. “Fade to Black” played by a grieving teenager on an acoustic guitar is music straight from the heart.

The lyrics of “Fade to Black”, more than likely, have different meanings for different people. For my son, I believe the lyrics of “Fade to Black” are about grieving and learning about one’s own mortality.

“Life it seems will fade away, Drifting further every day” - Realizing people WILL & DO die! And, that someday you will die too!

“Getting lost within myself, Nothing matters, no one else” - Dealing with one’s own feelings about the loss of someone they love deeply.

“I have lost the will to live, Simply nothing more to give” - Not wanting to go on living without the one you loved, if it means continuing to feel almost unbearable sadness.

“There is nothing more for me” - Thinking you will never be able to enjoy living again without your loved one in your life.

“Need the end to set me free” - Thinking you will feel this way for the rest of your life.

“Things are not what they used to be, Missing one inside of me” - Not feeling like the same person you were before you lost the person who was a part of who you were.. and missing them.

“Deathly lost, this can't be real, Cannot stand this hell I feel. Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony” - Wanting your mind to deny that your loved one has died, then facing reality and knowing it is true and feeling agonizingly sad and lonely.

“Growing darkness taking dawn, I was me, but now He's gone” - Looking toward the future, knowing you will be a different person because the person you loved was part of who you were and is now gone.

“No one but me can save myself, but its too late. Now I can't think, think why I should even try” - Knowing it is up to yourself to go on without your loved one, but not sure you can.

“Yesterday seems as though it never existed.” - Trying to remember how you felt before your loved one died.

“Death Greets me warm,” - Feeling dead even though you are still alive.

“Now I will just say good-bye” - The most uplifting part of the lyrics. Being able to say “Goodbye” to your loved one and go on living without him or her.

Christmas 1999 (2 years after my husband died), I bought my son a Kirk Hemmett electric guitar and amp system. Anyone hearing him play “Fade to Black” would think Metallica was in the house! In my mind, my son is the greatest guitar player the world will NEVER hear! And when I hear him play “Fade to Black“, I know he is remembering his father.