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I Held Her In My Arms Lyrics

I'm gnawing on the knowledge
That I have been burnt
And I'm learning things that I
Should've already learnt
Everyone I ever knew
Was so kind and coy
I was with a girl
But it felt like I was with a boy

I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you

I will not kill
The one thing that I love
In this world of wreckage
I look above
Help me Lord
Help me understand
What it means to be a boy
What it means to be a man

I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you

I'm gnawing on the knowledge
That I have been burnt
And I'm learning things that I
Should've already learnt
Everyone I ever knew
Was so kind and coy
I was with a girl
But it felt like I was with a boy

I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you

I can't even remember
If we were lovers
Or if I just wanted to
But I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
I held her in my arms
But it wasn't you
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21 Meanings

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Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

To me, the song is about being in love with this one girl and trying to get over her by getting close to another girl physically, but knowing that it is completely meaningless. he compares the girl he held to the girl he's obsessed with but there's no comparison. he can't even remember if they had sex, probably he physically wanted sex but emotionally was distracted. i agree with palooka about the girl-boy-submission thing. the song's basically about being in love with someone and trying to get over them but knowing that everyone else just fades into the background in comparison to them.

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

I'm not so sure any of these comments are anywhere near the mark, though "partofthiswasmine" comes close to my interpretation.

The singer is deeply in love with a girl, but he does not know "What it means to be a boy and what it means to be a man" and so does not know how to love the girl as a man loves a woman. Thus even though "I was with a girl" he tells us that "it felt like I was with a boy." This causes the relationship to fail, leaving him to "gnaw on the knowledge that I have been burnt."

The singer feels that this world has failed to prepare him for this situation, as "Everyone I ever knew was so kind and coy" which isn't actually helpful. He sees this earth as a "world of wreckage" where he is left to "look above" and plea "Help me, Lord, help me understand."

The experience makes him feel that he is "learning things that I should've already learnt", that is, he could've made the relationship work if he knew how to love beforehand. This first love haunts him for the rest of his life. He continues to think about it long past the point where he "can't even remember if we were lovers, or if I just wanted to." And whenever he meets someone new, he remarks to himself, "I held her in my arms but it wasn't you."

Song Meaning
Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

Like a lot of Violent Femmes songs, it conjures up the transitional teenage feelings. It's a very deceptively simple song.

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

While I am tempted to say that this song has a homosexual connotation, I think it's actually about a guy who is trying to convince his girlfriend that he didn't cheat on her.

"I'm gnawing on the knowledge that I have been burnt/ And I'm learning things that I should have already learned" He realizes that his girlfriend is pissed and might break up with him. "Everyone I ever knew was so kind and coy" The girl was coming onto him, but he was innocent. "I was with a girl, but I felt like I was with a boy" His feelings for her were platonic. And he held her in his arms, trying to be friendly and comforting, but he didn't actually sleep with her because "It wasn't you" you being his girlfriend. "I would never kill the one thing that I love (etc.)" He doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend, even though he did cheat on her. He invokes God and his own naivete, trying to win his girlfriend over.

That's my theory, not saying it's right or you're wrong.

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

I think, maybe, this one is simply about the singer being in a relationship with a girl he doesn't love (and probably doesn't love him either). Maybe they aren't even attracted to each other. He isn't even sure if what the fooling around they might have done "counts". But he was just "going through the motions" to try and satisfy some desire to be in a relationship (and who he really wants is the "you" of the song).

My Interpretation
Negative
Subjective
Sadness
Emotional Struggle
Relationship
Unrequited Love
Doubt
Attraction
Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

I think, maybe, this one is simply about the singer being in a relationship with a girl he doesn't love (and probably doesn't love him either). Maybe they aren't even attracted to each other. He isn't even sure if what the fooling around they might have done "counts". But he was just "going through the motions" to try and satisfy some desire to be in a relationship (and who he really wants is the "you" of the song).

My Interpretation
Negative
Subjective
Sadness
Unrequited Love
Dissatisfaction
Confusion
Longing
Miscommunication
Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

What does this song mean to all the other folks out there?

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

To me this song is pretty much perfect after a night with a cool ass girl you just met and even if things didnt end up as well as they should have, and that you found out she has a boyfreind (true story btw)its all good. Its a wellcomed change to depressing "im not sure she loves me" type of songs. Best VF song!

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

or... trying to move on with a rebound to help you get over someone, but it doesn't quite feel right. --?

Cover art for I Held Her In My Arms lyrics by Violent Femmes

To me it's like when you really like someone, and you have dreams about them so much that the dreams start to become real. Uh...yeah.