DecemberSun's Journal

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  • Archives for March 2008
  • A blog type thing about a blog

    by DecemberSun on March 07, 2008 Why? Why am I writing about a blog in a blog? Well... Today my ex boyfriend told me to read a blog of his. So I read the one he told me to read. It was just about something that had happened to him. It was pretty good so I went on to read the next one. I was in it. Actually, all the girls he'd been involved with were in it. All of them. I'm assuming. I don't know about his whole life. Once I realized it was about all of his relationships I kind of scanned through to the bottom. There was my name. MY name. In HIS blog. Now, you must understand, we dated for a while, like 6 months. Then we went through the hating period. And the "I don't know you anymore" period. And the awkward phase. And then we were friends again, good friends, we liked eachother again. A little less that a year later. Back at page one. Well how was that going to work? We tried. We talked just about every day. He lives in another town and that always made it hard but I was willing and ready to TRY this time. I was not going to let this fail. But it did. I went to see him on new years day. I was groggy and tired but we had a good day anyway. He said he would come see me the next weekend. At first I was really happy about it. But all week he kept changing plans. He was coming and then he wasn't, then maybe, then yes, then no, yes, blah blah blah. Then by the day before he was supposed to come I didn't want him to anymore. I was tired of not knowing. I didn't tell him though. Then he said he'd tell me whether or not he was coming before I went to bed. I waited until 2am before finally falling asleep. My mom woke me up at 8 the next morning so I could get ready. I checked my text messages. He wasn't coming. And he waited until 4am to tell me. I was so pissed I couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't talk for him for a few days. I didn't want to see him, or talk to him, or hear about him, or anything of the sort. I was sure I was done. But of course, I can't hate him. He's such a huge part of my life. Is and was. And as many times as I've wanted to be angry with him or wanted to stay mad at him, I couldn't. Because I think deep down I will always love him. A lot. So here I am, reading this blog of his. He says that I'm something else and he'd always known. And he had a huge crush on me. He said that he'd be continuing the blog some other time. I texted him and told him I didn't know how much I liked being in his little chronicles. And what he said just knocked me down. I almost fell out of my chair. He said I was the only successful relationship he'd ever had. He was my most successful relationship too. And I think right then it sunk in. We are meant for eachother. We're just afraid. Or, he's afraid. I'm not sure. But I do know I love him. And everytime I'm near him I just want to hold on to him. I don't want him to go away. No Comments
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