Have you ever had an afternoon absolutely filled with epiphanies?
I thought I was going insane. It all started when my friend said my normally brown eyes looked green. I knew it would be a good day.
After school, I went to a meeting of my school's literary magazine. We discussed a couple poems, then looked a bunch of art submissions and had random, crazy, wonderful conversations about everything and nothing.
Afterwards, I hung out with two of my friends, both a year older than me, who I never see. Kelsey and Bree. We sang a bunch of songs from Anastasia and walked in circles while we waited for our parents to show up. Then Kelsey's mom showed up, and it was just me and Bree. We sat down on the ventilator by an upstairs window and watched for her ride while joking about summoning the hawk and geese in the sky and counting how many times this random kid kept walking by us (it was about 17). I laughed SO HARD. Then, Bree had to leave.
My other friend Elise, who I see all the time, came along. She'd been comforting her friend, whose name I don't want to mention for the sake of her privacy, the friend had an emotional breakdown over all the bad stuff that's been going on at her house. I was told that the only thing keeping her from suicide was her friends here at school. I also heard that one of our mutual friends, name also omitted, was being abused at home, and I'd never known anything was wrong. Elise has been planning to find help for them, so they can get out of their poison environments. I felt really, unneccessarily lucky. I shouldn't be this lucky, should I?
Elise left, and I was alone to wait for another hour (my mom is slow). I took a long walk around the school, unable to stop my feet from moving. When I was finally slowing down, I saw a picture that had seemed inspiring, but in reality was a part of a science lesson upon closer inspection, and I sped up again in an inexplicable burst of anger. I changed from the white jean jacket I'd been wearing all day into my new, warm, wonderful literary magazine sweatshirt. And epiphanies about nothing in particular started raining down on me all through this. I thought about everything, making myself laugh in a strange, choking, emotion-filled way, and I was absolutely sure I was clinically insane. It was the weirdest feeling. The moving air felt so, so wonderful on my skin, and I felt like a wind goddess. I sang high notes to an empty school, and in my mind they soared clearly and perfectly, though I don't really know how they sounded. I felt so...strange and wonderful.
Don't tell me you've never had an afternoon like that.
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