Recent Journal Entries

  • My Radical Change

    by ThrashAddict on June 08, 2020

    I just wanted to let people know [whoever cares] that I have begun the process of becoming a United States Marine. My bootcamp date, as of now, is April 5th, 2021, as per my admission into the delayed entry program. Other than my family and some of the my friends, not a whole lot of people who know me are aware of my efforts, so I decided to "vent" it here on my songmeanings journal. I only walked into the Marine Corps recruiter's office a few weeks ago, on May 15th, and already, I am a "poolee" who is medically qualified with an ASVAB score of 94. About a month ago, I was not affiliated with the U.S. military at all, hence why the comparison to my current status has led me to title this entry "My Radical Change". It only took me a month to completely change the course of my life, and even though nothing really "significant" has actually occurred, I am excited (as well as scared shitless) about the coming months leading up to boot camp. 

    I usually am not this forward with these types of matters, but because I've been on songmeanings for a few years, I thought it might be the perfect place to share some of my more personal thoughts so as to give my account a bit more character to it, rather than just a collection of lyrics and artists I post up every now and then when I hear one of interest. In other words, I want you all to know that there is a person behind this account, and in the future, most likely around the summer/spring seasons, I will be gone for some time. There will probably be no submissions for a while, and the U.S.M.C. is most likely going to be the reason why. 

    Also, considering that some people in the past have died during Marine Corps boot camp, I wish to inform people as to the possibility of one day having no more submissions produced by this account. If by this time next year, there are no more submissions, this journal entry here should provide the context needed for people to not wonder "What happened to ThrashAddict?" 

    Thank you for your understanding and I hope to submit as much as possible before being shipped off to the unknown. 



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  • sifting through the madness

    by RosesAtSunset on June 05, 2020

    I’m feeling the jaws of my subconscious snapping and tearing at me.

    Life is Good

    I’m fleeing out of reach of those fangs and they can hardly get a grip.

    Hate is Real

    I’m moving forward but the ground beneath me is rolling back.

    Truth is Gone

    I’m sinking into the depths of what is unreal and the real is dissipating into smoke.

    God is Here

    I’m seeing the eyes watching me as I sway side to side and yet they don’t move.

    Death is Light

    I’m losing the way and the map is too bright for me to know where I ought to go.

    Love is Now

    I’m finding you even when you’re not with me so I can’t be lost.

    Peace is Here

    I’m looking at the face of fear yet I feel less scared of what’s reverse.

    Joy is Found

    I’m following the route because the only way is through the hurt.

    Mind is Matter

    Matter is Mind

    what I leave behind

    is all you’ll ever find 

     



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  • Human interaction, thank you. Without it I am nothing.

    by alterEgo on June 02, 2020

    How kind of you to stir my dull heart, and my even duller mind. To even give me a glimmer of hope in the darkness, behind the veil of tears. How nice that I am a person and not a creature of existence. Thank you, thank you thank you. The air is now bareable. My sadness is deeply rooted like a tree fed with years of negativity, anxiety and hatred. For that I am sorry. I'm sorry I cannot bloom, I cannot beam a light. I'm sorry I cannot help others. 



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  • My love

    by alterEgo on May 29, 2020

    Moonlight rays gentle slumber, sweet words, sweet rhythmic breaths. The peaceful surroundings are more than i deserve.  Soft embrace: let me never forget the smell of sweet soft hair. A calm to my mind. Where there is no rhythm or rhyme. My sweet sweet love. All mine.



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  • drabble 43449.1

    by alterEgo on May 20, 2020

     

    Terrible tabitha where are you? longitude lattitude, i long for you

    Terrible Tabitha where are you? seeking your affection has left me blue


    The curves of your face, the emotion of your body 

    Please shed some love on the withered soul that aches...

    Aches for your love.

     

     



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  • Prithee Friend that Hedge behold

    by NomadMonad on May 14, 2020

    Prithee Friend that Hedge behold
    When all we rhiming Fools grow old
    Who in vain Florish Life have spent
    Amidst it stands a rivall’d Tree,
    Now representing sixty three
    And like it you and I shall be.
    The bare vine round about it clings
    With mischievous, intangling Strings
    The night Shade with a dismal Flow’r
    Culrs o’er it, like a Lady’s Tower
    Or Honesty with feather’d Down
    Like grizled Hair deforms its Crown
    Luxuriant plants that o’er it spread
    Not medicinal for Heart or Head
    Whch serve but to amuse the Sight
    Are like the nothings that we write
    Yet still ’tis thought that Tree’s well plac’d
    With beauteous Eglantine imbrac’d
    But see how false Appearance proves
    If he that Honeysuckle Loves
    Which climbs by him to reach the Thorns
    The rival Thorn his Age derides
    And gnaws like jealousy his Sides.
    Then let us cease, my Friend, to sing
    When ever youth is on the Wing
    Unless we solidly indite
    Some good Infusing while we write
    Lest with our Follies hung around
    We like that Tree & Hedge be found
    Grotesque & trivial, shun’d by all
    And soon forgotten when we fall.

    Anne Finch (1661-1720)



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  • Unblinking grief

    by RosesAtSunset on May 02, 2020

    I met her through this site. She knew me but how much did I seek to know her?

    hell she fucking died in October

    and I just found out now

    felt like getting punched in the stomach

    by something you barely knew

    or never really tried to

    last thing she wrote me was on a picture from when I went to Tokyo 

    she said she was happy to see me around again and that she missed me

    man I told her I missed her too and hoped she was doing well

    who could've known she died 6 months later

    and left behind her two beautiful kids

    fuck dude I'm sorry

    i saw your photo last night and thought I'd hit you up

    and little did I know that I never could 

    I'm sorry Kim 

    ---

    “the last cigarettes are smoked, the loaves are sliced,

    and lest this be taken for wry sorrow,

    drown the spider in wine.

    you are much more than simply dead:

    I am a dish for your ashes,

    I am a fist for your vanished air.

    the most terrible thing about life

    is finding it gone.”
    -Charles Bukowski



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  • Petal to the Metal

    by NomadMonad on April 12, 2020

     

    A White Rose said to an African Violet:

    Purple darkness makes my day.

    The Violet, showing forth her petals, spoke:

    Let’s share some sun in May.


       

    Happy Easter!
    come on over and visit



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  • hmm

    by swamp on April 10, 2020

    I wonder 



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  • National Poetry Writing Month

    by NomadMonad on March 22, 2020

    ...is here again.

    You are exhorted to participate:

    http://www.napowrimo.net/



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  • The Joint ought to be Jumping

    by NomadMonad on March 22, 2020

    This journal at S.M. is moving too slow.

     STEP UP !  Write something.

    Damn.

     

     

    By the way, there are only 2 genders: Male and Female.
    Islam is right about women,
    and Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself.

    How DARE you.



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  • Evolutionary Limericks

    by NomadMonad on February 26, 2020

     

    The annual Darwin Gay Ball
    Was a gala occasion for all.
    The Australopithecus
    Looked quite ridiculous
    Leaning, half-drunk, on the wall.

    Zinjanthropus, high on bananas
    Uttered forth a long chain of Hosannas.
    Although missing a link,
    He knew just what to think
    And went cruising for greener savannas.

    The Cro-Magnons (more agile than Lucy)
    Like their hunting and gathering juicy...
    The mating was prime
    And their dance, so sublime,
    Could out-monkey the funky Watusi.

    'Twas a lowbrow event; all the same,
    Proto-drag-queens competed for fame.
    The divine Homo Habilis,
    Hairy, but fabulous,
    Gave Knuckle-Dragging its name.

    Homo Sapiens' wisdom has wrecked us
    As the Darwinist doctrines infect us.
    Knuckle-draggers may dream,
    But bonobos now scream
    That the winner is: Homo Erectus !



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  • 5.7

    by brian on February 13, 2020

    5.7



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  • test

    by brian on February 01, 2020

    test



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  • First Entry

    by ThrashAddict on January 23, 2020

    I'm just testing out this journal capability and seeing if there is anything great about it. It seems interesting, but I just don't have any use for it other than maybe posting updates about my account. Of course, that's assuming anybody has any interest in my account. 

    I took a look at other people's journal entries at random, and the majority of the ones I've seen are typically entries of poetry. I saw one disturbing political entry, but I don't want to go down that road ;). 

    Well... I guess I'll wait and see how this goes. 



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  • Hypnotic Repetition

    by NomadMonad on September 24, 2019

    ➿➿➿


    There are more than two genders

    Trump is a Nazi

    Or the planet will die by 2030

    Diversity is strength

    Believe women

    White supremacists

    You create reality

    Sounds like conspiracy



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  • mixmaster T

    by NomadMonad on September 05, 2019

    ☆   ☆   ☆

    He so cold cool he hot
    Peep be like: word
    Mixing trax in da klub
    King of tha mix
    They all: we lit
    Layin down them oldskool
    Cuttin in some riddim
    Droppin beatz
    Sound system be like: higher
    Mixmaster T play it 4 tha playas
    And 4 tha kidz
    Funk Soul Hiphop Latin House
    (White House too!)
    Thatz why he prezident
    Funky commander-in-chief
    Talkin bout Tha Dee-Jay y'all
    Nuff respeck
    Cuz its about LOVE people...
    So dig your DJ:

    D.J. TRUMP



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  • gambling confession

    by artemisagrotera on August 29, 2019

    now the last vow is broken
    now the last wall is breached
    now the fences have crumbled
    now I'm in your reach

    I laid it out
    I spoke to you
    the truth I'd never given you:

    direct hit
    end run around our game
    impact:
    how do we act without the frame?

    invoking distant lives,
    I gave myself away


    not knowing what you'd say or mean

    and now I'm still left in-between

     

     

     



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  • Saint Bartholomew's Day Couplet

    by NomadMonad on August 24, 2019

     

    For starters


    we could talk about the Huguenot martyrs . . . 



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  • Android 52 - romance

    by alterEgo on July 11, 2019

    Fluttering feelings at 3am

    Endless searching, restless wandering 

    MIA



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