I did a little research into this, and there are three possible meanings I've found.
For those of you that don't know, Paul Simon has used patron saints in his work before, and I wondered if this was possibly another case of that.
I found Some possible Saint Al meanings:
St. Alban: Converts
St. Alphonsus: Those Falsely Accused
St. Alphonsus Liguori: Confessors
And some possible Saint Betty meanings:
St. Elizabeth: Expectant Mothers
St. Elizabeth of Hungary: Those Falsely Accused
St. Elizabeth of Portugal: Difficult Marriages
St. Elizabeth of Portugal: Infidelity
So let me give you an example of a possible meaning of this song:
A man loses his faith and his wife is pregnant (the latter possibly causing the former). He doesn't think he's ready to be a father, financially, emotionally, or psychologically. He's trying to learn about pregnancy and being a father, but none of it makes any sense to him. He goes on a walk to think, and in his meanderings comes across a church. In that moment, his faith comes back to him and he realizes that the child that's coming is a gift and that things will be OK. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth, patron saint of expectant mothers and "Al" is Saint Alban, patron saint of converts.
His faith will help him teach and raise his child, being his bodyguard. And he will return to the faith that he lost, making him its long lost pal.
Another example:
The man's marriage is difficult and he's accused of cheating on his wife through some misunderstandings and the fact that he certainly acts like he's cheating on her (he loves getting attention from women and giving them attention). However, he has remained faithful. He may have even accused his wife of the same. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth of Hungary (or possibly of Portugal), patron saint of those falsely accused (or difficult marriages) and "Al" is Saint Alphonsus, patron saint of those falsely accused.
His wife is his bodyguard, and he is her long lost pal. Her wanting him to be a better husband is his protection from it, and he'll return to the way he once was when he first started courting her.
And this is a third example:
There's an unfaithful man whose wife is finally fed up with him and kicks him out. He was unfaithful, but he realized that he loves his wife and she was the best thing in his life. He could just never be true to his wife because he just doesn't think of her when other women are around. The worst part about it all was that he spent their entire marriage hurting her. All that unfaithfulness just wasn't worth it, and he's resolved to stop that crap if only his wife will take him back. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth of Portugal, patron saint of infidelity and "Al" is Saint Alphonsus Liguori, patron saint of confessors.
His faith and thoughts of his wife are his bodyguard, protecting him from his life of infidelity. He is her long lost pal, being as he was before he started cheating on her.
What do I think it means? He says "a man." He doesn't say "the man." I don't think he's talking about the same man in the three verses. I think each man is different.
I did a little research into this, and there are three possible meanings I've found.
For those of you that don't know, Paul Simon has used patron saints in his work before, and I wondered if this was possibly another case of that.
I found Some possible Saint Al meanings:
St. Alban: Converts St. Alphonsus: Those Falsely Accused St. Alphonsus Liguori: Confessors
And some possible Saint Betty meanings:
St. Elizabeth: Expectant Mothers St. Elizabeth of Hungary: Those Falsely Accused St. Elizabeth of Portugal: Difficult Marriages St. Elizabeth of Portugal: Infidelity
So let me give you an example of a possible meaning of this song:
A man loses his faith and his wife is pregnant (the latter possibly causing the former). He doesn't think he's ready to be a father, financially, emotionally, or psychologically. He's trying to learn about pregnancy and being a father, but none of it makes any sense to him. He goes on a walk to think, and in his meanderings comes across a church. In that moment, his faith comes back to him and he realizes that the child that's coming is a gift and that things will be OK. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth, patron saint of expectant mothers and "Al" is Saint Alban, patron saint of converts.
His faith will help him teach and raise his child, being his bodyguard. And he will return to the faith that he lost, making him its long lost pal.
Another example:
The man's marriage is difficult and he's accused of cheating on his wife through some misunderstandings and the fact that he certainly acts like he's cheating on her (he loves getting attention from women and giving them attention). However, he has remained faithful. He may have even accused his wife of the same. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth of Hungary (or possibly of Portugal), patron saint of those falsely accused (or difficult marriages) and "Al" is Saint Alphonsus, patron saint of those falsely accused.
His wife is his bodyguard, and he is her long lost pal. Her wanting him to be a better husband is his protection from it, and he'll return to the way he once was when he first started courting her.
And this is a third example:
There's an unfaithful man whose wife is finally fed up with him and kicks him out. He was unfaithful, but he realized that he loves his wife and she was the best thing in his life. He could just never be true to his wife because he just doesn't think of her when other women are around. The worst part about it all was that he spent their entire marriage hurting her. All that unfaithfulness just wasn't worth it, and he's resolved to stop that crap if only his wife will take him back. In this case, "Betty" is Saint Elizabeth of Portugal, patron saint of infidelity and "Al" is Saint Alphonsus Liguori, patron saint of confessors.
His faith and thoughts of his wife are his bodyguard, protecting him from his life of infidelity. He is her long lost pal, being as he was before he started cheating on her.
What do I think it means? He says "a man." He doesn't say "the man." I don't think he's talking about the same man in the three verses. I think each man is different.