I think it's about trying to get over serf-mutilation...
He's thinking about everything that's wrong with him, all his problems and remembering how good it felt when he hurt himself... "memories consume, like opening the wound"
"you all assume i'm safe here in my room, unless i try to start again".... he's family and friends all know he has a problem, and they think he's over it, little do they know he's continuously thinking about it....
He feels like he's the one with all the problems, that all the bad things go looking for him... clearly he's confused as to what to do, where to go with it all... which problems to fix and which problems to ignore... he's frustrated... he doesnt know what made him what to hurt himself, he knows it isn't a good thing and thats why he wants to stop...
"Clutching my cure, tightly lock the door".... He's found his instrument with which he'll inflict his "medecin"... the locks the door 'cause he's ashamed, he doesnt want anyone to know that he's back to his old tricks...
"I hurt much more, then any time before, i had no options left again".... judging by the last few words, saying "again" after he said he hurt more then anyother time makes me think that the feelings at that moment are just as bad as before, but he just thinks it's worse because he hurts so much...
i'm not sure how to interpret "I'll paint it on the walls/'cause i'm the one at fault/i'll never fight again/and this is how it ends"...... perhaps he's blaming himself for making everone miserable, blaming himself for hurting himself and trying to make things alright again....
At the end of the song he figures out what to do... he knows he'll never be completely over his problem, he knows he needs help and his willing to fight it....
At least thats what it means to mean....... i really relate to this song.... it makes me feel like there are other people out there that have the same problem as me..... i know how it feels to struggle with the problem of self-harm..... this song really touched me....
I think it's about trying to get over serf-mutilation... He's thinking about everything that's wrong with him, all his problems and remembering how good it felt when he hurt himself... "memories consume, like opening the wound" "you all assume i'm safe here in my room, unless i try to start again".... he's family and friends all know he has a problem, and they think he's over it, little do they know he's continuously thinking about it.... He feels like he's the one with all the problems, that all the bad things go looking for him... clearly he's confused as to what to do, where to go with it all... which problems to fix and which problems to ignore... he's frustrated... he doesnt know what made him what to hurt himself, he knows it isn't a good thing and thats why he wants to stop... "Clutching my cure, tightly lock the door".... He's found his instrument with which he'll inflict his "medecin"... the locks the door 'cause he's ashamed, he doesnt want anyone to know that he's back to his old tricks... "I hurt much more, then any time before, i had no options left again".... judging by the last few words, saying "again" after he said he hurt more then anyother time makes me think that the feelings at that moment are just as bad as before, but he just thinks it's worse because he hurts so much... i'm not sure how to interpret "I'll paint it on the walls/'cause i'm the one at fault/i'll never fight again/and this is how it ends"...... perhaps he's blaming himself for making everone miserable, blaming himself for hurting himself and trying to make things alright again.... At the end of the song he figures out what to do... he knows he'll never be completely over his problem, he knows he needs help and his willing to fight it.... At least thats what it means to mean....... i really relate to this song.... it makes me feel like there are other people out there that have the same problem as me..... i know how it feels to struggle with the problem of self-harm..... this song really touched me....