The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
I've tried, like you
To do everything you wanted to
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Pushes me away
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
I've tried, like you
To do everything you wanted to
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
We're all out of time, this is how we find how it all unwinds
The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see you're testing me, pushes me away
Pushes me away
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This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
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Overall about difficult moments of disappointment and vulnerability. Having hope and longing, while remaining optimistic for the future. Encourages the belief that with each new morning there is a chance for things to improve.
The chorus offers a glimmer of optimism and a chance at a resolution and redemption in the future.
Captures the rollercoaster of emotions of feeling lost while loving someone who is not there for you, feeling let down and abandoned while waiting for a lover. Lost with no direction, "Now I'm up in the air with the rain in my hair, Nowhere to go, I can go anywhere"
The bridge shows signs of longing and a plea for companionship. The Lyrics express a desire for authentic connection and the importance of Loving someone just as they are. "Just in passing, I'm not asking. That you be anyone but you”
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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Linkin Park performs this song so beautifully live.
To me, this song is about a relationship that has hit a wall, but yet both parties are trying to hold on even though it's a lost cause. It seems to be also about attachment and being with someone out of habit, even though it may be an unhealthy relationship. It's basically about a relationship hanging from a thin thread, nothing can be done to help it except to leave, and push one another away. It's a classic case of being better off alone, than to be in a relationship that is not wholesome.
"The sacrifice is never knowing Why I never walked away Why I played myself this way Now I see your testing me pushes me away..."
This is about not having reciprocation in a relationship, in which in the end you'd only be hurting (playing) yourself for taking such a risk to begin with. Love is a risk. He's saying the true sacrifice is figuring out WHAT made him stay in this unhealthy, detrimental relationship. Why didn't I walk away if I knew this is bad? Why am I hurting/playing myself this way? It all points to insecurity which is evidently the theme of many Linkin Park songs.
xx Roxy