"The Bartender And The Thief" as written by Kelly Jones, Stuart Cable and Richard Mark Jones....
When you think about it he's watching
Every word you say hey dazed and when
He's sussed you out he calls her up and out
She comes and hustles us
The bartender and the thief are lovers
Steal what they need like sisters and brothers
Met in a church a night to remember
Robbing the graves of bodies dismembered
He watched the lesbian talk she kissed and
Groped but mostly talked in lust crushed
He couldn't make the call his eyes were
Gripped on licking tongues enough's enough
Failed for once
Long digging gone fishing love
The bartender and the thief are lovers
Steal what they need like sisters and brothers
Met in a church a night to remember
Robbing the graves of bodies dismembered
Saved what they stole to meet at the alter
Place where they first set eyes on each other
Flew to the sun to start life all over
Set up a bar and robbed all the locals

Lyrics submitted by GCrocks, edited by Shallow

"The Bartender and the Thief" as written by Richard Mark Jones Kelly Jones

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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The Bartender And The Thief song meanings
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  • +1
    General Comment"Kelly: "We were waiting for a plane in New Zealand and all these sailors were walking in and out of the bar. Everyone was acting really weird and there were lesbians at the bar. I thought the bartender must see so many different things as people change character, from Jekyll to Hyde, sober to drunk. So I wrote this completely tongue-in-cheek story about the bartender and the thief who is robbing everybody. I found the melody for the chorus on a dictaphone tape. I'd been putting ideas on tape for two years and had never played them back before, until then!"
    Kelly: "The song came from an idea we had in this weird bar in New Zealand. It was this really strange place where these mad sailors wandered in and out all night."

    A website this was gotten from.
    TheHappiestColouron July 22, 2003   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI think this is about a couple who rob their bar apparently
    charleigh123on March 26, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't care what this song means. It bloody rocks!
    Karlon May 11, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThe song is about meeting a pair of lesbians in a bar - the bartender and the thief. They fall in love and end up moving to Spain to start a new life - not an entirely honest one by the last line!
    tom_s252on May 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentwhat the god damn f**k? only 2 comments. i can't really belive this band is so underratedthe. lyrics must have "he calls her up and out" between line 2-3.
    ColdenScenceon July 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWicked song
    wild_armson September 21, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentLmao - in the middle of the live version (on Live from Dakota), he just starts singing "The ace of spades! The ace of spades!"
    strider3005on October 09, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWhat a song this is, possibly the best they've ever done.

    Can't wait to see them (09/11/2007 - Sheffield Hallam FM Arena) gunna be unba-foooookin-leavable.
    bandouton June 16, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commentnecrophilia?
    newcoterierotaryon October 27, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHe sang 'The ace of spades" last night too.
    Mrs_Monkeyon November 21, 2007   Link

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