Central Scrutinizer:

But one night, at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up . . .
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free . . .

Larry:

Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a CREW SLUT

Hey, you'll love it
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
Be a CREW SLUT
See the world
Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus
CREW SLUT
Add water, makes its own sauce
Be a CREW SLUT
So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you

You never get to move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what it's like
To go from place to place
So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
Be a CREW SLUT
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you'll love it!
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
I ain't gonna squash it
And you don't need to wash it!
CREW SLUT
Hey, I'll buy you a pizza
CREW SLUT
Of course I'll introduce you to Warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you

Larry:

Well you been to Alabama, girl,
'N Georgia too
'N all the boys in the crew
Is bein' good to you
I know you're sayin' to yourself
"This is the way to go"
'Cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo'
'Cause you're the CREW SLUT

Mary:

I'm into leather . . .

Larry:

That's good!

Road Crew Chorus:

CREW SLUT

Larry:

A lot of the boys in the crew
Love leather . . .

Mary:

And rubber . . .

Road Crew Chorus:

CREW SLUT

Larry:

Yeh, they like rubber too . . . shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer . . .

Road Crew Chorus:

Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a CREW SLUT

Mary:

Ha ha ha . . .

Larry:

You like that, huh?

Road Crew Chorus:

CREW SLUT

Larry:

I told you you'd love it . . .
It's a way of life!

Road Crew Chorus:

The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!

Mary:

A present for me?

Larry:

We got a present for you!

Mary:

Whaddya got?
Whaddya gonna give me?

Larry:

It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it . . .

Mary:

With leather?

Central Scrutinizer:

Eh errr, eh eh . . . This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again . . .
And so MARY was enticed away from JOE
By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of SLEAZERY
With the entire road crew of some
Famous Rock Group
(I don't know whether it was really Toad-O . . . I don't know . . . I'll check it out)

Again we see
MUSIC
Causing
BIG TROUBLE!


Lyrics submitted by nicole

Crew Slut song meanings
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6 Comments

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  • +2
    General CommentNot all slutty girls, but a sub-genre. Oh yes, there are sub-genres.
    artsluton August 07, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General Commentam i the only person who feels like this is a personal anthem?

    who doesn't fantasize about being a crew slut? (without the VD of course)
    irate hippi chicon April 10, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commentlol. I think it's more of an insult to them.... later in the album mary enters a wet t-shirt contest where the announcer says something like "mary's the kind of red blooded american girl who will do anything.... and I mean ANYTHING for 50 bucks" then something about her needing the money to get home to her dad who's waiting in the toolshed
    Gimpy Jimon March 16, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentyeh true.... haha but im a girl and i still think its a good song.. yeh they are abit insulting...
    AND BY THE WAY..
    Where is The Song Wet T-Shirt night anyways?? =(
    Kiki Bnon July 29, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentKiKi It's making fun of slutty girls not making fun of girls so it's not like it's bad to think it's good because you're a girl.
    IMarrydDaveGrohlon March 31, 2008   Link
  • 0
    My OpinionI think this totally degrading to women.............Did Zappa really resent the girls who kept him company whilst on the road so much that he sings about them with such contempt?
    I can see why this sort of material wasn't celebrated at the Zappa Does Zappa concerts. It's not one of Franks high points in my opinion.
    BarnabyHugheson October 15, 2015   Link

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