This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
He's got a million dollar car
He's got a thirty-seven year old guitar
He's got a family who deals heroin
You're on the edge of your chair
And you feel it
He's looking at you, he's laughing at you
It's happening
I can't, I can't believe it
But it's here on the pages I'm reading
It's all I can do to conceal my feelings of jealousy
Jealousy
I know it's just a drawer of photographs
They're ex-girlfriends, I try to remember that
I don't want to look, but I'm already hooked on jealousy
Jealousy
I can't believe you had a life before me
I can't believe they let you run around free
Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea
What a good idea
Standing on the corner watching the ladies pass by
Imagining me behind your eyes
And what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs
I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy
I can't, I can't believe it
But it's here in this place and I see it
It's all I can do to conceal my feelings of jealousy
Jealousy
Standing on the mudflats watching the salmon fly
Wonder if I'll ever bury the hatchet inside
Imagining me behind your eyes
And what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs
I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy
I can't believe you had a life before me
I can't believe they let you run around free
Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea
What a good idea
He's got a thirty-seven year old guitar
He's got a family who deals heroin
You're on the edge of your chair
And you feel it
He's looking at you, he's laughing at you
It's happening
I can't, I can't believe it
But it's here on the pages I'm reading
It's all I can do to conceal my feelings of jealousy
Jealousy
I know it's just a drawer of photographs
They're ex-girlfriends, I try to remember that
I don't want to look, but I'm already hooked on jealousy
Jealousy
I can't believe you had a life before me
I can't believe they let you run around free
Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea
What a good idea
Standing on the corner watching the ladies pass by
Imagining me behind your eyes
And what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs
I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy
I can't, I can't believe it
But it's here in this place and I see it
It's all I can do to conceal my feelings of jealousy
Jealousy
Standing on the mudflats watching the salmon fly
Wonder if I'll ever bury the hatchet inside
Imagining me behind your eyes
And what did I see?
I saw hips, I saw thighs
I saw secret positions that we never try
I saw jealousy
I saw jealousy
I can't believe you had a life before me
I can't believe they let you run around free
Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea
What a good idea
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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I love this song!! It's so true. Whenever I get with i guy I can't help but try to find out about past girls, it's just in my nature. And then when I do find out I realize I wish I didn't know!! My favorite part is "I can't believe you had a life before me I can't believe they let you run around free Just putting your body wherever it seemed like a good idea" It's just soo true!
It's about having a fourgy