Asking For It

<i>Was she asking for it? Was she asking nice? If she was asking for it? Did she ask you twice?</i>

I always assumed the chorus had something to do with certain men, and how whenever they hear about a woman getting raped or sexually abused they automatically think she was "asking for it" through the way she dressed and/or the way she acted.

Just my opinion.

courtney love said "We had just gotten off tour with Mudhoney, and I decided to stage-dive. I was wearing a dress and I didn't realize what I was engendering in the audience. It was a huge audience and they were kind of going ape-shit. So I just dove off the stage, and suddenly, it was like my dress was being torn off of me, my underwear was being torn off of me, people were putting their fingers inside of me and grabbing my breasts really hard, screaming things in my ears like "pussy-whore-cunt". When I got back onstage I was naked. I felt like Karen Finley. But the worst thing of all was that I saw a photograph of it later. Someone took a picture of me right when this was happening, and I had this big smile on my face like I was pretending it wasn't happening. So later I wrote a song called "Asking For It" based on the whole experience. I can't compare it to rape because it's not the same. But in a way it was. I was raped by an audience, figuratively, literally, and yet, was I asking for it?"

That song is about being raped and that is a fact. But I get something else. I think that it shows how hard is to be a woman - you can see it when we are talking about raped girl. Only a guy can say that `she shouldnt wear a dress and should put her underwear on. No, honey. She had right to put a dress and dive into the crowds. They had no right to put fingers inside her body and make her feel like stupid wh*re. And - when I read comments below any Hole lyrics I see at least one person who claims that Courtney killed Kurt and then 10 or more people who say that it is stupid. Hey! Thinking that she actually did it doesnt make you stupid. It is not very good to think that she killed guy who commited a suicide. But... lets be serious. Who believes that she killed anybody? I dont.

Bite Me, you are an asshole. This song was written against ignorant people like you, you moron. You're the one with the head up your ass. When you said, "It doesn't mean that she asked for it literally, it means that she should have known better" that's exactly what asking for it means! You just contradicted yourself, you fucking dumbass. It's a sarcastic song. It's about how society always places the blame partly on women. And yes, this was written about Courtney's physical assault at the Underworld, London in 1992. As for the dumbfuck who said, "You don't go into a mosh pit, wearing a dress," you're an asshole. Maybe women shouldn't even bother going to concerts then.

You people are so, so fucking stupid.

Do you know Courtney? Did you know Kurt? Were you even over the age of 10 when he died!? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then what the fuck do you think gives you the right to accuse Courtney of killing Kurt? You don't know shit about the situation, all you know is what you've read in the magazines and internet and seen on the tv, and what other (idiotic) people have told you. Why do you just belive what your told? You don't know any of this stuff first hand, yet you feel you somehow have the authority to speculate over what happened. The bottom line is, get your facts straight before you start jumping in and talking shit about people you dont know anything about. Once you know what your talking about, and know what happned, feel free to come back and argue.

Though, unfortunalty, the only way to find out what happened would be to resurrect Kurt. Somehow, I dont think thats going to happen. Dear oh dear.

And I think we should focus on the music, instead of calling Counrtney an asshole. She was a great musician, and so was Kurt.

End of.

As other commentators have said, this was written about Courtney having her clothes torn off of her by the crowd after she stage-dove. It's happened multiple times to her I believe. What's more important though is the way she presents the song's content; like a lot of good art, she's asking a question and not thrusting an answer at you. It's another example of how strong she is as a lyricist. She may be limited as a musician, but songs like this are proof of her strength with words. The lyrics are implicit enough to make a statement, but she's begging for answer from the people who are listening to her story here. If a woman dives into an audience in a dress, more than likely that dress is coming off, and she's asking you what that says about us as people and as a society as a whole. She's not saying it's right or wrong or "it should be THIS way, not that way". She's pointing to something intangible inside of us that makes us do these things. Is it right? Is it wrong? Should she expect that? If she should, why? If she shouldn't, why not? Is it nature? Was she really asking for it? Notice that by the end of the song she still hasn't given us an answer because I don't know if she herself has one, but she's certainly making sure that we think about it. People don't give Love enough credit as an artist and this song alone shows what a firm grasp she has on cultural concepts and on language in general.

I'm not what you could class as a Courtney fan, although I do like some of her music. However, I fcuking HATE sexist shit like... "..why would anyone be dumb enough to wear a dress into a moshpit anyways??"

I think that's what this song is about. It's tongue in cheek, it's cynical, and I find a lot of these comments really amusing considering that this is what this song is partially about... peoples attitudes like.. "well she was asking for it going there dressed like that."

I agree with what most peopel have said (i.e. not bite me) and I think that women should be able to wear whatever they want. If a man walks around without a shirt, he doesn't get raped.

its about how women supposedly have to prove their purity and innocence after being raped. if they arent completely virginally pure then they were just asking for it by being a slut. not every line in the song makes that much sense to me with that interpretation but i think courtneys said thats what its about. kurt actually sings on this song, you can hear him in the background on the "if you live through this" part but ive heard another version where his voice is a lot higher in the mix and its easier to hear. awesome song and its cool that kurt had a part in it

I will tear the devil out of you

should be

I will tear the petals out of you.