This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
You're moving through the rough waters, motel boy
And swimming in your sleep
How could I be so blind, mis-sighted
Not to see there's something wounded deep?
Anyone could scratch your surface now
It's all amphetamine
You're blasting yourself into the present
To blur some past indignity, say that
You say that you hate it
You want to re-create it
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
You're drinking raw adrenal, baby
And do-si-do, saddo
You're eating cartilage, shark-eyes, shark-heart, all present tense
And boy, your blood is running cold
Listen! This is now, this is here this is me
This is what I wanted you to see
That was then, that was that that is gone, that is past
You cast yourself, cast passed by, thrown down fast
You say, you say that you hate it
You want to re-create it
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
You love it, you hate it
You want to re-create it
Now! This is here, this is me
This is what I wanted you to see
That was then, that was that, that is gone
That is what I wanted you to feel
You love it, you hate it
You're spitting out the bitter pill
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel, whoa
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills, whoa
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills, whoa
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
And swimming in your sleep
How could I be so blind, mis-sighted
Not to see there's something wounded deep?
Anyone could scratch your surface now
It's all amphetamine
You're blasting yourself into the present
To blur some past indignity, say that
You say that you hate it
You want to re-create it
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
You're drinking raw adrenal, baby
And do-si-do, saddo
You're eating cartilage, shark-eyes, shark-heart, all present tense
And boy, your blood is running cold
Listen! This is now, this is here this is me
This is what I wanted you to see
That was then, that was that that is gone, that is past
You cast yourself, cast passed by, thrown down fast
You say, you say that you hate it
You want to re-create it
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
You love it, you hate it
You want to re-create it
Now! This is here, this is me
This is what I wanted you to see
That was then, that was that, that is gone
That is what I wanted you to feel
You love it, you hate it
You're spitting out the bitter pill
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel, whoa
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills, whoa
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
I've been around, I've been your lover
I let it go at Kill Devil Hills, whoa
You're coming onto something so fast, so numb
That you can't even feel
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