"Shake Hands With Beef" as written by Les Claypool, Reid L. Iii Lalonde and Bryan Kei Mantia....
There's a time for lies
And a time for truth
I say, eye for an eye
Eye for a tooth

When I roamed young
I'd scavenge around
Every nook and cranny
Of our little town
It's nice, so nice, to be

Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
Shake hands with beef

She's so fine
She's so sweet
Mom and Pop they raised her
On huge slabs of meat

She's fine
A man of nine
Water derby day
Twenty six pumps
on a Crossman
And it's time to play

It's nice, so nice, to be

Pull out the cannon boys
Steal us some wine
Puff Tijuana Smalls
Shake hands with beef


Lyrics submitted by knate15

"Shake Hands With Beef" as written by Les Claypool Bryan Kei Mantia

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

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Shake Hands With Beef song meanings
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28 Comments

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  • +3
    General CommentThis song is about a friend of Les who's a vegetarian, but once in while goes to Taco Bell, and "Shakes Hands With Beef".
    Pedro Martinson August 23, 2005   Link
  • +3
    General CommentAs it's been stated before, the song is about Vegetarians who eat meat once in a while, called "shaking hands with beef"
    Hylonomuson March 11, 2009   Link
  • +2
    General CommentClaypool's pointed out MANY a time that this track IS NOT about masturbation. The meaning of the song is about having a BBQ. :x
    Flunkieon September 12, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Commentvery cool song!! primus is by way one of the best bands!!Les's bass style can not be compaired with anyone else,he is the best!! Larry is great on the strings!! and Brian is a great drummer!!! Priums rocks!!
    Nothingman3001on May 22, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General Comment"Puff Tiajuanna Smalls" doesnt mean get high. "Tiajuanna Smalls" is a brand of cigar. Its used as a metaphor for relaxation.
    toolmusikon December 26, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General CommentWhilst there might be a metaphor or entendre or whatever as with Wynona's Big Brown Beaver, I heard in a bootleg him saying that it's about his vegetarian friends who weren't always that way are sometimes tempted by the taste of meat.

    Just because they're a rock band doesn't mean they on care about sex, drugs and rock n roll, and those certainly aren't their favourite lyrical topics as many people here seem to think!
    Baudson September 11, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment"Whilst there might be a metaphor or entendre or whatever as with Wynona's Big Brown Beaver, I heard in a bootleg him saying that it's about his vegetarian friends who weren't always that way are sometimes tempted by the taste of meat.

    Just because they're a rock band doesn't mean they on care about sex, drugs and rock n roll, and those certainly aren't their favourite lyrical topics as many people here seem to think!"

    Primus songs arent very straight forward...now OBVIOUSLY this song was made to catch people with the words "Shake Hands with Beef" and think masturbation. I know it isnt about masturbation, but im not sure...I cant say that anything said above (besides the masturbation) is wrong tho
    BGG_001on November 04, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commenti think htis song is actually about just what he says...beef. 26 pumps of crossman, meaning they pump meats with steroids and stuff like that. i dont know i may be wrong but it seems correct
    333 im half evilon March 30, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI believe 26 pumps on a Crossman refers to 26 pumps on a pump action Crossman BB gun. Crossman is a realitively famous BB gun company. But usualy they only go up to 10 pumps. It makes you think..
    MyNameIsPrimuson April 13, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentObvously this song is about confrontation. Its about "shaking hands with beef" as in confronting enimies. In the way this song is written it actually sounds like a pirate whos steeling from the other ships and taking there food and what not. Its NOT about wacking off, or being a vegan. Thats just fucking dumb because where does the part "Haul out the cannon boys, steel us some wine" come into play with being a veghead or beating off? seriously look at the words people! This song is about kicking ass and taking names! If you have a problem with my idea of the meaning, why dont you shake hands with your beef by telling me off? :)
    Donalda666on October 02, 2010   Link

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