This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Oh you get me ready in your 56 Chevy
Why don't we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorching
Like a glass of cold lemonade
I will do the laundry
If you pay all the bills
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the TV
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children
If you pay all the bills
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you don't, but you don't even notice me
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
We finally sell the Chevy
When we had another baby
And you took the job in Tennessee
You made friends at the farm
And you joined them at the bar
Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes
While you go have a beer
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Why don't we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorching
Like a glass of cold lemonade
I will do the laundry
If you pay all the bills
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the TV
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children
If you pay all the bills
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you don't, but you don't even notice me
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
We finally sell the Chevy
When we had another baby
And you took the job in Tennessee
You made friends at the farm
And you joined them at the bar
Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes
While you go have a beer
Where is my John Wayne
Where is my prairie song
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Yippee yo, yippee yeah
Lyrics submitted by Nelly, edited by Songster67, Fairytale4Sale
Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? Lyrics as written by Paula Cole
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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i think she might be referring to a marriage that wasn't all she envisioned it to be (i will raise the children if you pay the bills... i guess that's all her husband's good for?) . she's wondering where all the chivilaric - and quite fictitious - cowboys have gone, as she wants to be swept off her feet by one.
@piinkxglowstick the cowboys all left town because there were no real women anymore
Just to organize the ideas above: This woman met a man who at first seemed to be able to fulfill her dreams and be a "cowboy" in some heroic vision she once held. He actually turned out to be a blue-color nobody who neglects her. And so she wonders where that cowboy of her dreams is.
@rikdad Ten years later, I see a spelling mistake – I meant blue-collar, not color!
This song has the illusions of traditional marriage down pat, I think. Brought down by the division of labor, the day-to-day routine, etc.
That said, I have to admit the chorus of the song drives me crazy. Especially the last part.
Where is my Marlboro Man Where is his shiny gun Where is my lonely ranger Where have all the cowboys gone?
Is she being ironic? She's saying she WANTS a cowboy?
What do we value about cowboys? Their self-sufficiency, their adventurous, independent spirit, their traditional manly-man ways, right? Womenfolk are rather background fixtures in their world, aren't they? If we figure into it at all.
Seems like she's already got that with the situation at hand - that's why I wonder if there's supposed to be some irony here.
The image of a cowboy I have is resilient and steadfast, good qualities for anyone to have.
@42 steps Yeah, I'm reminded of the movie "Shane", where the title cowboy realizes that, while he admires the domesticity of the homesteaders in the valley and wants to protect them, his very presence and his rough-and-ready cowboy lifestyle endangers them all, and so...he must leave his newfound "family" behind and ride off alone.<br /> <br /> Granted, I haven't watched many Westerns, but I can't think of a single one that ends with the cowboy settling down with a family. But it's almost a cliche to have the mysterious stranger tip his hat, say "Sorry ma'am, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," and ride off--alone--into the sunset.
I agree with what a lot of reviewers have said, but I also see this song as a protest or warning about the marriage fantasies girls are raised with. We are given these images that marriage is going to be a lifelong Harlequin Romance, fulfilling every need or wish we have. But girls who believe this will end up like the woman in the song, progressively more lonely and alienated from their mate and desperately sad at heart while their fantasy crumbles around them.
I really wish, though, that Paula Cole had done a bookend song that explores the opposite ending: what happens when people marry wisely and learn to take each other for who they are, love each other for who they are, treat each other well, and find that their "ordinary" lives can be very fulfilling indeed.
I think the song represents several themes.
So THAT's what the song is about. She thinks that her husband and his friends are all extremely unpleasant to be around, especially compared to the romanticized "real men" that Hollywood offers.
She moves from the naive romantic, to accepting their limiting roles, and compromising to trade love for security. "I'll do the laundry AND raise the children if you'll pay the rent." God knows her manly guy won't do either of those.
So she's unhappy, and she'll leave, and he'll think good riddance for awhile, till he realizes he's lost a darn good cook and housekeeper. But she won't come back. She knows he will never act like the "honorable man" she now realizes would be a much better companion. So they'll both go down to the bar and get another one. Because few of us have figured out that the tough uncommunicative types act like assholes eventually; and the loving respectful men will treat them with love and respect. But her ex and friends and family will work hard to keep her from marrying "a fag."
She'll have plenty of time to thank them while her new old man is down at the bar proving his manliness by not being pussy-whipped into being home with his family.
And she resigns herself to sing the lament that all the good cowboys are gone.
Sorry for the cynicism.
Remember, lovers deserve each other.
If you've read this far, I guess you deserve to have a hint about what she, and he, could have done.
She needs to break out of the passive subservient role, and he needs to learn to be loving -- difficult to impossible without emotionality. Thus, we men must learn how to be emotional. Then sensitivity, respect, empathy, caring for oneself, and caring for others will make possible loving and joyous relationships.
Wow, that's a lot of meaning to get from an old ballad.
"i will wash the dishes, while you go have a beeeeeeeeerrrrr." LOVE the sarcasm in this one. it's well done!
she just wishes it was back to the way it was, when men respected women and chivalry was not dead... a simpler time
Where is my John Wayne? ^every girl wants a John Wayne ;)
@GracieGurl The ironic thing is that John Wayne was a gigantic asshole.
@GracieGurl women killed chivalry. women did not do the traditional thing the woman does in the song. they feminized education to favor girls, forced their way into the workforce via affirmative action, and disempowered men as a class. they pushed passed "gender equality". then when men stopped getting as educated as women and stopped earning so much, women started lamenting "where have all the good men gone".
"I am wearing my new dress tonight But you don't, but you don't even notice me (Say our goodbyes...)''
These fantasies some were raised with are just that....
Feminism killed the cowboy starting in the Roaring 20s, but we were subverted before that (1871). A generational plan to reduce the number of American patriots to make us ripe for a later invasion. Guess it's here now. Some call it genocide.
I see this song as about disillusionment that the real world brings about as you get older and realize that the wild, romantic dreams you had during your youth were unrealistic. I don't think her husband's a jerk, just a little thoughtless. And I don't think she's miserable, just a little wistful and yearning for the "old days."
The first verse is set either before they're married or when they're newlyweds. They speak of romantic adventures and riding off into the sunset. They're young, they're naive, they're discussing their future together. They can go anywhere in his '56 Chevy.
In the second verse, they've settled in to married life and she's trying to help him relax after a hard day's work. She suggests he watch TV, she'll make supper and some coffee, and maybe rub his back and enjoy a romantic evening with him. She may have given up on her dreams for now, but she's still hoping to reignite the spark in their relationship.
She's still trying to bring back the passion they once had in the bridge, where she buys a new dress, but he still doesn't notice anything.
Finally, in the third verse, we come to her present situation. We don't know how many children they have, but judging from the second verse that says "I will raise the children," they probably have at least three after the rival of "another baby." They sell the Chevy, which is the last thing remaining from the carefree days of their youth. Because of this, and the fact that he had to take a job in another state, suggests that they've fallen on hard times. But while she stays home, doing the housework and taking care of the kids, he, at least, gets to have a social life. Her disillusionment is complete; life may be comfortable, but it is no longer exciting.
The way she says "while you go have a beer" sounds almost scornful. Also, notice that in this chorus, there is no "I'll do this if you'll do that." She no longer feels that she can rely on him, and perhaps she no longer wants to. But someone has to take care of the kids, and she probably can't afford daycare, and if they've moved to another state, she probably has no family nearby to help her. She's "stuck," more or less, at least until the kids are old enough to stay home by themselves. And by now, the question "Where have all the cowboys gone?" is rhetorical. She knows by now that there were never any "cowboys" to begin with. They were part of a childish, and later escapist, fantasy, where the good guys always won and the campfire never went out.
Some people think of this song as anti-feminist, but I don't think that's necessarily so. It reminds me of Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique," which explored the depression that often set in after middle-class women married. They supposedly had everything they wanted--a man to pay the bills, a baby or two, a comfortable house, and plenty of free time once the housework was complete, but they still felt unfulfilled. Like the woman in this song, these women longed for something more. And I like to think that the woman in this song went on to carve out her own identity, apart from her husband. This doesn't mean that her "goodbye" was literal, that she left him. But it means she has begun to look to herself for a way to live a fulfilling life. It may not be the life of cowboys and happy endings that she dreamed of in her early adulthood, but it will be one that is more meaningful than what she has now.
Excellent <br /> <br /> Yes, I agree. The anti-feminist,supposition is based on the understandable but obviously mistaken assumption that Cole is asking where her John Wayne is- when it's the character who's saying it. Also, in context the refrain should be interpreted as going from earnest to yearning to rueful. Even the character isn't really asking the question seriously at the end. So people are right that the chorus takes an unfeminist world view, but the entire song is about learning what a mistake that was!