"Return To Innocence Lost" as written by Ahmir K. Thompson, Ursula Desire Rucker and Anthony Tidd....
Muffled sound of fist on flesh
Blows to chest
No breath
Air gasps
You ain't nothing but white trash, bitch!
With each hit, each kick, each, broken rib
Crack, crack!
Bones are crying
Mommy's crying and bleeding
And pleading
And then
Daddy wants to fuck
Dick hard, swelled with power rush
And as if all that wasn't enough
Mommy's seven months heavy with birth
As, Daddy grunts and cursed drunk nothings in her bloodied ear

First, lullaby
First, son, will, ever, hear
And never forget

Mommy almost bled to death when she have him, finally
She'd already lost, three
Uterus-bruised, shredded, and weak
From being daily beat
And Friday nights were the worse and
Daddy never came with flowers
Instead he spent hours at some corner spot
With some bar pop named Cookie
Putting his thing down
Soiling Mommy's sheets with
Sweet, talk shit,
Cookie's cheap lipstick,
Hair grease, sperm, and Jezebel juice

To hell with the good news that
He was a father for the first time
His thirst for wine and women
Clouded his vision
No warm welcome for mother and son
The rank smell of ass-crack, funk, and cum
But Mommy's prayerful strength-her best defense
She, burned the dirty linens
Made a fresh bed
Laid sleeping First Son down
And never made a sound
As she purged her scourge
With birth-blood and quiet tears
Watching as her fears and love and sacrifice
Lie there in his soft skin and new life
Breathing, dreaming, fresh from God's eye
Mommy's little survivor
Like, her

Mommy called crazy and scorned
Cause she two more born
One boy soon after
The girl much later and
Although they were both sung the same lullabies of hate
Her, First Son, the first one
Whose, womb-world was profaned
Came of age playing street games
With Stewie, Rezzie, and Little Brother
'Till his heart start to wither
In pain and shame
Blamed Mom for the wrong she let Daddy do to her
And him
Let, sins of the Father cause his innocence to wander
Found out amongst thieves
Chose to squander his dreams
Stopped believing in himself
Become prodigal with his life
Make impossible shit right with
Gang-ties, crime, lies
Erase wise, woeful words of Mother
Replaced them with absurdities of others
Who had also lost their way

Played a different kind of street game now
First Son plunged deep
Speak street-family vows
Espouse no causes but his own
See, he couldn't protect Mommy's neck from Daddy's grasp
Or, protect Mommy's ass from Daddy's wrath
Couldn't shield her ears from
Daddy's foul-mouthed, liquor-breath jeers
His only defense-served be confidence
Brown bottles housed his swift descent
Phones called cops on block frequent for his shenanigans
Now, Daddy and him twins in addiction
Driven to false-hearted heavens and friends
By liquefied demons
Had become what he despised from conception 'til end
Destined for a demise
Survived nine lives of staying high
Conning, jewelry-pawning, arrests, theft
Womanizing, only for money, never for sex
Bullet in chest, baseball bat to the head
Left for dead
So, eyes wide and glassy
Speech, slowed and slurred
Lips twitched with caked-up codeine candy
And mouth corners one December 24th
Mr. Hide and False Friend
Took final ride to suburban supplier
Shots were fired by the gray man
With shaky hand
But not shaky enough to miss
Hit, Lost Boy in back
So-called Friend runs for door
Leaves First Son blood-born
Lying alone in blood on cold floor

Death was the cause of
Returning to Innocence Lost

Baby 'Sis awake for dawn on Christmas morn
To Mommy's sobs and shakes
Daddy's silhouettes of regret
All past, omitted, and absolved by lost
As they clung to each other

Lyrics submitted by shut

"The Return to Innocence Lost" as written by Anthony Tidd Ahmir K. Thompson

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, THE ROYALTY NETWORK INC.

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Return To Innocence Lost song meanings
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  • +2
    General Commentthis track has left me without words . hip hop should ways tell a story . the roots create an image and they tell the story good..
    NIKKIEon June 26, 2003   Link
  • +2
    General CommentThis track always makes my hair stand up.
    RecoveringPainon September 13, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEven though this track may be a little unpleasant, it really means a lot. It basically explains how abusiveness from a father can inflict on the future of his offspring while they're in the womb. The first son's fall to crime is because of the wrong his father did to his mother, and when he dies, thats the return to innocence that was lost, the innocence he held before exposed to the evil of the world, which explains somewhat of a co-existence of birth death with innocence.
    HonkyFireon July 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis is what Ursula Rucker says about this song in the CD sleeve:

    "It is my belief that from the moment of conception, a human's life can be pre-determined. By pre-determined, I mean to say that a fetus, while still in the womb, can be greatly affected by both physiologically and emotionally by his/her's mother's emotional experience. If abuse and declension have been the rule during the mother's pregnancy, then abuse and declension could very well rule the baby's life once born. In 'Return To Innocence Lost' this happens to 'First Son'. Some can fight pre-determination. 'First Son' succombs to demons, personal and peripheral, thus giving us the fight quite early in life. 'Return To Innocence Lost' is also the story of a man who hides his innocence out of fear. A fear to face his own life. So he dons a cloak of bravado and a bad boy image pretending to be evil himself, when really, he was never evil at all... just innocent. H was constantly quelling his innocence in an effort to forget his fear until 'First Son's' innocence is finally rediscovered through death. 'Return To innocence Lost' is about Ricardo Angelo Rucker. My beautiful innocently lost brother. born May 15, 1955- returned to innocence lost December 24, 1985."

    dcov28on April 19, 2011   Link

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