This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Since I was a kid I've had a black cloud follow me
I need to clear my head before the ground starts to swallow me
Killed your companions then complained of loneliness
Well, sometimes it happens like this
Since I was a kid I've had a black cloud follow me
I need to clear my head before the ground starts to swallow me
Killed your companions then complained of loneliness
Well, sometimes it happens like this
Try to concede, you want what I don't need
You fled with summer's speed, most likely to succeed
You never played the lead, but starred in many downplays
Malaise infects my airways, affrays echo for days
Accumulating slow like snowfall, forestall to walk and just crawl
Enthralled to the beck and call
You ride the rails, tied my body to the track
Watched the trains run me over, never ever looking back
Staring at you teary eyed
How could he never know?
Always being pushed aside
How could he never see?
Images of patricide
That's how I always knew
Something is wrong with the way that I feel
With the way that I feel inside me
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Nothing you say can heal these bruises I conceal
Apologies are like a virus and can't change the way I feel
Should I reconcile so you can smile, rebuild our rapport
So you can bait the lure for yet another whore
Stepmother, steps away from being a mother
Already got one and I love her, why the fuck I need another?
Or a father, who never bothered, why bother to exist?
Watch your sun eclipse, I wipe your name from my lips
Staring at you teary eyed
How could he never know?
Always being pushed aside
How could he never see?
Images of patricide
That's how I always knew
Something is wrong with the way that I feel
With the way that I feel inside me
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Longed to be your son
Some things are never too broken to be
But you're dead in me
I longed to be your son
Some things are never too broken to be
But you're dead, you're dead
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger like I'll ever be
I need to clear my head before the ground starts to swallow me
Killed your companions then complained of loneliness
Well, sometimes it happens like this
Since I was a kid I've had a black cloud follow me
I need to clear my head before the ground starts to swallow me
Killed your companions then complained of loneliness
Well, sometimes it happens like this
Try to concede, you want what I don't need
You fled with summer's speed, most likely to succeed
You never played the lead, but starred in many downplays
Malaise infects my airways, affrays echo for days
Accumulating slow like snowfall, forestall to walk and just crawl
Enthralled to the beck and call
You ride the rails, tied my body to the track
Watched the trains run me over, never ever looking back
Staring at you teary eyed
How could he never know?
Always being pushed aside
How could he never see?
Images of patricide
That's how I always knew
Something is wrong with the way that I feel
With the way that I feel inside me
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Nothing you say can heal these bruises I conceal
Apologies are like a virus and can't change the way I feel
Should I reconcile so you can smile, rebuild our rapport
So you can bait the lure for yet another whore
Stepmother, steps away from being a mother
Already got one and I love her, why the fuck I need another?
Or a father, who never bothered, why bother to exist?
Watch your sun eclipse, I wipe your name from my lips
Staring at you teary eyed
How could he never know?
Always being pushed aside
How could he never see?
Images of patricide
That's how I always knew
Something is wrong with the way that I feel
With the way that I feel inside me
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Longed to be your son
Some things are never too broken to be
But you're dead in me
I longed to be your son
Some things are never too broken to be
But you're dead, you're dead
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
And don't try
Friend you ain't no friend to me
Defy
What you are I'll never be
Outcry
Get the fuck away from me
Faux
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger now
Don't try
I'm stronger like I'll ever be
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Obviously a deep hatred for his father. Patricide ooff thats rough. I think every break up I've had the chorus fit well for me. DWR best when loud