"Three Point One Four" as written by and James M. Franks....
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina

Women are like dog doo hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are the easier they are to pick up
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic the winner in the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX smart like Janeane Garafolo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that i would never know
Bestow upon me all her knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina

Vagina vagina vagina vagina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina


Lyrics submitted by sawg, edited by Kyuss1

"Three Point One Four" as written by James M. Franks

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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Three Point One Four song meanings
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14 Comments

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  • +3
    General CommentAs horny and insane as this song is, the lyrics are very clever and well written.

    I don't much like the Anorexic line, but that's just me being moral.

    Awesome song, The Bloodhound Gang are (were?) and awesome band!
    Dreaming_of_Attackson September 19, 2008   Link
  • +3
    General Commenti'm sort of afraid to quote any lyrics from this song
    blikstaon March 15, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentNote that the name of the song is three point one four. 3.14 is Pi, allthough considering the lyrics it should be Pie. Pie as we all knowis a slang term for vagina.
    FatherGanjaon April 06, 2003   Link
  • +1
    General Comment"I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color".
    Genius.
    This song has some of the best innuendo ever!
    DGASon November 09, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment*in scottish accent* too true!
    element_Xon April 28, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThey originally wanted this song to be called "Vagina", but their record company didn't like it, so they went with the 3.14 thing.

    Also, I bet you didn't know this song was written about the same girl that "Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny" was written about! Well you probably did if you've checked out Bloodhoundgang.com
    Archfoeon May 06, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commentbest part of this song is "You know what i really want in a girl? Me."
    1stsskornon January 05, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentVAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA

    i love this song
    River Wolfon August 01, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"I want my next chick annorexic
    The winner is the thinner
    Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner like Sizzler!"
    "Gee, ya know what I really want in a girl? Me."

    Absolutely stunning brilliance.
    PaperStreeton September 10, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthow many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?

    ermmm.... bwhuahuahau
    SmotPokeron March 11, 2007   Link

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