Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn

I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you

The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you


Lyrics submitted by Ice


Disarm song meanings
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248 Comments

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  • +13
    General CommentHere's a Billy Corgan (lead singer of SP) quote about the song:
    "It’s about chopping off somebody’s arms.. *g* The reason I wrote Disarm was because, I didn't have the guts to kill my parents, so I thought I'd get back at them through song. And rather then have an angry, angry, angry violent song I'd thought I'd write something beautiful and make them realize what tender feelings I have in my heart, and make them feel really bad for treating me like shit. Disarm's hard to talk about because people will say to me 'I listen to that song and I can't figure out what it's about.' It's like about things that are beyond words. I think you can conjure up images and put together phrases, but it's a feeling beyond words and for me it has a lot to do with like a sense of loss. Being an adult and looking back and romanticizing a childhood that never happened or went by so quickly in a naive state that you miss it."
    dsfireon January 22, 2002   Link
  • +8
    General CommentI used to be obsessed with Smashing Pumpkins when I was in my teens and SP was the first concert I ever attended. I don't have a source but I do remember reading about this song years and years ago and Billy's commentary added so much more meaning to the song. I don't know where I read it or how accurate it is but the lyrics do seem to support it.

    As I recall, Billy's childhood was not ideal and he lived in an abusive home.

    "Disarm you with a smile" refers to Billy's attempt to disarm his parents' abuse by smiling thereby keeping everyone happy and reducing the chance of conflict/violence.

    "I used to be a little boy. So old in my shoes" is referring to Billy having to grow up too soon which is typical in abusive homes. Children become adults long before they should have to.

    "The killer in me is the killer in you" refers to Billy contemplating a vicious & violent retaliation towards his parents while they slept but recognizing that the concept of violence to solve issues is what his parents have taught him through their abusive behavior. He sees that the violent thoughts he observed were only created as a result of poor parenting. If he hurt his parents, he'd continue the cycle and nothing would improve. Billy chose to break the cycle which can be seen in the lyrics "what I choose is my choice" or "what I choose is my voice."

    A beautiful song despite the sad story behind it.
    StellarOakon April 30, 2012   Link
  • +3
    General Commenti think it's about society has no room for childishness, how society "disarms" him of his childish behaviour when he grows up and cuts that part of him out, which is also a part of them. and then the years burn (go by) and he's left feeling sad that his youth is gone.

    first time i heard this i thought it was about a school shooting, with a kid using violence to express his feelings (what i choose is my voice)
    complete_loneron January 20, 2002   Link
  • +2
    General CommentBilly Corgain said this song is about him and his father's relationship when he was a kid


    they no like each other
    NINirvana69on November 28, 2008   Link
  • +2
    General Commentanother song from the perspective of a child, I like the "disarm you with a smile"
    concept. A powerful song inflicting emotion on everyone. If you vent emotion with truth, just
    purpose, and a high quality, artistic, unique take on something that almost everyone can relate to,
    you do have something. Who here putting or reading comments on this song didn't
    have some sort of negativity attached to their childhood?
    doesnotmatter9921on April 17, 2009   Link
  • +2
    My OpinionI feel as though I can really relate to this song, or should I say, I feel as though I can relate to this feeling. Because that's really what I get from this song, feeling. I mean, having bad parents/ parents that hurt you (physically or emotionally), is a very hard thing to go through. It can be confusing. It can make you feel so lost. It can make you feel so helpless. I remember growing up, which can really be a tough thing to do on its own... I can remember being so angry, but how being angry didn't change my parents. I could get so angry, but it didn't stop them from hurting me. There was one point when I wanted to hurt myself, out of spite, being so angry at my parents- like, "I'll show you, you'll be sorry for hurting me, I may not be able to hurt you, but look how hurt you made me hurt myself." But besides that, there's this really tender aspect to it. Like, deep down inside your just a kid, a kid trying to make his way in the world, only ever wanting the best.
    whatsarahsaidxoxon December 22, 2011   Link
  • +2
    General Comment"The killer in me is the killer in you"

    God, even after all these years, that lyric still hurts. I think that, since this is proven to be about domestic abuse from a parent towards a child, it refers to birth; when he is born, he kills the parents on their insides because they never wanted him. But when he kills their spirits, he realizes they kill him - someone clearly innocent - as well, making them far worse than the helpless child they sired.
    CheeseLordon September 09, 2013   Link
  • +1
    General CommentHere is my interpretation of it:

    I believe that the person is thinking about suicide, just like what treestump said.

    "Disarm you with a smile
    And cut you like you want me to
    Cut that little child
    Inside of me and such a part of you
    Ooh, the years burn"

    You drove me to do this.... My past sucks... I just wanna get rid of it... You were a big part of it... My past hurts...

    "I used to be a little boy
    So old in my shoes
    And what I choose is my choice
    What's a boy supposed to do? "

    I used to be young and innocent, trying to act like someone i was not.... I might do it but i might not... I am confused... What am supposed to do?

    Disarm you with a smile
    And leave you like they left me here
    To wither in denial
    The bitterness of one who's left alone

    Once I am gone you're going to be alone as well, just like I was before... All alone... Growing personality growing more and more abnormally each and every day... This is the outcome of it....
    Kalvadaron January 19, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song is very good. I agree with all users who have rated this song!
    Luthienon May 07, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General Commenti loved this song, even if i wasn't paying attention to the lyrics. the mood is so sad, but this is probably the best smashing pumpkins song for me.
    illuminaon May 18, 2002   Link

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