Oh, human history is a sordid affair.
Often I say to myself,
"Oh this is horrible,
man's inhumanity to man.
It's just awful, it's..."
Oh, why bother?
Why bother, why bother, why bother?

I try to be rosy,
I try to be upbeat.
Life is real, life is earnest,
sing Polly wolly doodle all day.
I try to look on the bright side of things and yet,
when confronted with the truth,
I have to say,
Why bother?

Maybe I'll get a lift.
Why bother?
Maybe I'll get a job.
Why bother?
Maybe I'll get a new car.
Why bother?
Maybe I'll empty an ashtray.
Why bother?

It's so hard to keep your ears clean.
Why bother?

There are millions of wonderful piano players in the world.
Listen to the chump I got.
Why bother?

You know, modern painting is supposed to be the panacea for all the ills of modern life,
and yet everyone still buys the painting that matches the couch.
Why bother?

Do you know that the only museum in Las Vegas is run by Liberace?
Why bother?

France -- the country that gave us Renoir, Manet, Monet, Van Gogh, Gauguin -- has hailed Jerry Lewis as a genius...
Why bother?

Calvin Klein wears his own jeans,
image: http://static.urx.io/units/web/urx-unit-loader.gif

his own underwear,
his own cologne.
I still wouldn't fuck him.
I said "Calvin, why bother?"

I have a star named after me on Hollywood Boulevard.
It's under a fire hydrant.
Why bother?

I got a new haircut.
I have to put a lotta mousse on it to make it look like anything.
I got a terrible case of dandruff.
My doctor said I was suffering from "mousse abuse".
Why bother?

Dr Ruth...
Why bother?

There are 88 keys on that piano.
That motherfucker knows five.
Why bother?

Halley's Comet comes once every 76 years.
So do I.
Why bother?

I fasted for 25 days.
I took a high colonic every day.
I lost 3 pounds.
My Enemist said, "Why bother?"

You ever read the LA Weekly?
You ever notice how many ads for high colonics they have?
Is this town that full of shit?
Why bother?

Is this what T.S. Eliot meant by
"the hollow men",
"the stuffed men",
or did he only mean...
"Why bother?"

Lyrics submitted by Mellow_Harsher

Why Bother? song meanings
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