The Gun Song

I’m not hung up on you anymore, but here’s why I hung up

behind every great love story lies a great suicide
you can't give yourself completely and keep the man inside

all the sentences I climbed halfway
saw the heights of what I wanted to say
and crawled from word to word
trying to get back down

the unending realization that it's never gonna end
I spend half the day exhaling and the other half holding my breath

Cause living underwater was never my strength
In the depths you reside, the sun never sinks
So let’s float to the bottom for one final drink
There’s time for one more tonight

it’s time to forget while the forgetting’s good
I’ll burn all the promises I carved out of your woulds

you said won't you come into arm's reach
abandon your clothes and modes of speech
an infant reborn you shall be
helpless and afraid

I’m waving goodbye every time you go to the store
I hope you break your hand the next time you slam the door

Because I burned my fingers every night
When your own shaking hands wouldn’t give you a light
And I said “Jesus Christ, my parents were right
I never should’ve smoked you out”

I’d hate to amputate this artificial limb
But staring at you, my glass eyes are growing dim

I can’t even blame you for looking so smug
I have to admit you’re a hell of a drug
So pack up the boxes, roll me up with the rug
I’m not moving out, I’m just moving

(Kissed) I kissed you, yes, but never on the mouth
(masochist) you held the north while I conquered the south

but I don't want a territorial breach
so at the edge of the bed we'll meet
and I want you to fuck me in your sleep
it's the only way I'll know that you love me
(cause there's always gotta be a new angle)

Guns are loaded with silver bullets tonight
But it’s useless, you kept me waiting until it was light

But you can’t go out the way you came in
In the arms of someone unaware of your sins
Because I’ve been recording this whole fucking thing
Now you can never use the same chord changes again

(The first time was too fast
The second time was just sad)

If you’re wondering why I’m still willing to take the fall
If I’m not getting fucked over, I’m not getting fucked at all

But I never asked for immunity
That’s the difference between you and me
All I wanted was someone who was just like me
And I hate myself for that

It’s getting hard to talk about the past
When you’ve copyrighted the present, no questions asked

You can do whatever you want with my name
But my body’s never been public domain
So if you’re looking for somebody to blame
Blame Walt Disney Studios

I remember, I was walking around outside, talking to you on the phone
We were both avoiding the parties we attended alone

And I looked up at the drunken moon
It was round and it was grey and it looked like the moon
And I said “at least we’ve both got the moon”
And you said “I’m inside”

so I’ll try loving again
and you’ll try living alone
and we’ll meet at the end of this lifetime
and compare notes

(if bitterness is all that I have left
I’ll be better at being bitter than anybody else)

[what Joe’s Baby said:]

I hate your receptionist
She looks at me like I’m retarded
When I’m filling out your forms

I see your form behind the frosted glass
But she says that you’re not there
I’ll have to be content to wait

If you felt some kind of stirring
Against interpretation
Why write these songs at all?

Why not become didactic
Tell everyone on the planet
In plain English what you are

But I am the gentle cannibal
I promise to eat you softly
You won’t notice a thing

(Mariamme)

you’re taking advice from Lady Macbeth

(William, one shot two shots)

when it’s out of your hands, you try to forget

Mariamme, hold me tight
I still wish you hadn’t listened to me
I ain’t been right since the execution

(if I could transfer your desires into belongings and then snoop through your belongings, you know I’d do it in a second)

William, one shot two shots
Whoever you are, just hold me tight
I lost my love, my life, that -

All I know is, one of us was supposed to kill the other
Isn’t that what they mean when they say ‘lovers’?
But murder is dirty, and peace comes cheap
So here’s my new number, tell me when you’re free

[the conclusion:]

Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river