EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
STAN LEE!
VERSUS!
JIM HENSON!
BEGIN!

Stan:
Greetings, heros! Stan Lee's here to battle!
Its the mind behind the Hulk against the geek beneath the fraggles!
Im just your friendly neighborhood writerman
with the secret identity of a super MC
Who's raps are as dark as my shades
Leave you squealing like MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEME!
You're in trouble now, Jimmy! You dirty old hippie!
Your beard needs a little bit of SNIKT! Damn skippy!
And heck, that face on your neck aint sexy
You're one part Sweetums, the other part Skeksis!
Step up to Lee and you get your butt kicked
Your muppet Snuffleupagus stuff is bubkis!
I broke Ferigno and the comics code!
So keep your little frog and muppet show moving down the road!

Henson:
Oh, im glad you got that out ,That anger can clutter your mind
But you're a crative man, Stan Lee so lets just leave it behind
Now, I can sense your tension
once the verban fencin' starts comencin
There's no defense against the dents Jim Henson is dispensing
And im clenching all your strings like a puppet in suspension
Call your superhero friends in (Yeah, because you're gonna need Avengin!)
Let me mention, im impressed with all the vision that it took
To sign your name on all of Jack Kirby's comic books!

Stan:
Nice try, Frogman! But Jack was a friend of mine
That was a low blow, he did his own Thing
and now you made it clobbrring time! SPLONK!
You taught children to count and spell
And then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife
harder than you flopped on SNL!
Im telling you, Henson, you wont like me when im angry!
Im a Marvel of a party pooper!
I'll snap your turtle neck like a Doozer Stick
And put you out to Pasture like Mr. Hooper!
I..Im..sorry, Jim. Sometimes I cant control my rage
Honestly there's a lotta things you cant control at my age
The truth is, I miss ya and you were gone too soon
You were like staring at a beautiful sunset at noon

Henson:
Oh, Stan...dont be sad! We all have a time to go
Most of the internet thought that you died 12 years ago
But the four will always be fantastic
The Hulk will always be Incredible
The words you wove within the hearts of heroes are indelible
There is no beef between us, we're two minds of the same kind
And there is no man who could ever muck with what we left behind

Disney:
M-I-C I rock the MIC Properly!
K-E-Y Turning profits? I got the KEY!
Im the Juggernaut of stacking knots unstoppably!
The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property!
So get back to work! Thats MY dime you're wasting!
I didnt buy you for billions so you can play around debating!
Ah! You belong to Disney, that means ya stay busy!
Cracking out Magic and Assembly Line whimsy!
Artists begging me to stop? I wont let 'em!
Labor conditions in my shop? I dont sweat 'em!
Im powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic!
With just three circles I dominate the planet!
Clearly, there's nobody near me!
Im owning this battle! In fact, I own this whole series!
So hop on my Steamboat, boys! But dont rock it!
Ill put a smile on your face and green in your pocket!
You'll be safe and insured when you're under my employ!
NOW LOOK AT IT! GAZUE UPON MY EMPIRE OF JOY!


Lyrics submitted by Jirachibi

Stan Lee Vs Jim Henson song meanings
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