Starting startled in your doorway. You are unexpectedly asleep. We were gonna do homework due next week, but it’s due next week so the rest of the night is free. But I’d like to think that I’m polite and stately. I’d like to think so, so I watch you.

I watch you like I watch what I say.

Cautious as always in your doorway, slipping closer, make my way to the side of your bed and sit. Pretending I am polite and stately, I watch you sleep, dream, whatever the fuck you do so well. You are effortlessly swell.

I dare to graze the pastures of the back, the barely grassy sadness of a lack of contact. I watch you shuffle. I drop back and reassess your recess, and I pull up a chair, spend at least an hour there. Hovering over the moment that would be the best in both our lives if you were only awake. I used to think it’s only mine to take, I’m selfish anyway.

Your parents knocking, from downstairs, those thoughts from underneath me. I find my body in the chair, I push the chair underneath your desk. I take my steps, and I recede so polite and stately in your doorway, leaving the room safely. I tell your parents you worked hard all week, that I just read a book till they came home and that I let you sleep.

I walk home on night winds, I illustrate the nightlights, take them in like little frozen mints that chill me just enough within to remember where the warmth is.

Oh, him…

I am decisive, I am all stealth now. I have made a vow that he will know me. Safely in the doorway now and he is still asleep. Im not a weirdo and I am not a creep. I am only lonely and I am only me. I am not a weirdo and I am not a creep. I am only lonely and I am only me.

“I’d like to think that I’m polite and stately”, I remember; so I’m polite and indecisive and I’m about to leave. I am only lonely but I am really leaving. I am only lonely but i am really leaving. I am really leaving. Really really, I am leaving… when he speaks.

Then he lays me down and whispers I’m a weirdo?

Wait, woah, now I’m not alone.
Oh, why I didn’t just approach him until now, I’ll never know. You’re effortlessly swell and I am finally well.


Lyrics submitted by Deemer

Weirdo song meanings
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