EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ZEUS!
VERSUS!
THOR!
BEGIN!

Zeus
How dare you challenge my immortal throne?!
Im the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone
Maybe Odin can beg me for a truce because when Zeus lets loose
Ill put your crossdressing neck in a noose!
Im like Medusa! Stone a motherfucker if he looks at me wrong
Im a bull getting bitches with my swan-Schlong
Im on point like Poseidon's trident!
Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants!

Thor
Allow Thor to retort you shape shifting rapist
And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness
Brought forth by my rage and thunderstorm force
Because I dont get nice, I get Norse! (Norse!)
Val-Holla at ya boy and we'll flyte it out
But keep your As-Guard up, I Ragna-Rock the house
You tongue kissed your sister! Thats grosser than a Gorgon!
Im the thunder down under nailing Natalie Portman!
Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is?
You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like the Clash of the Douches!
Ruling over the Greeks! A people weak and frightened!
Id spit in your face but you'd probably like it!

Zeus
Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy!
My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy!
With astronomy they charted out the movements of my kin
All the pimps on Mount Olympus and me, The kingpin!
Let this Sink In, Im about to Rain on your parade!
Itchy trigger finger quicker with bolts than Usain!
You're history! Ill be the first to put it in writing
MC Hammer just got struck twice by Greece Lightning!

Thor
Rain, old man?! This is hardly a drizzle!
You couldnt give the women in my homeland the sniffles!
You can keep your astronomers! Ill sail with the conquerors!
For thousands of Kilometers, Discovering the continents!
Im Alpha Dog Dominant, you cant beat me!
I will drop you like Greece's GDP!
Send you deeper underground than the depths of your hades
Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies!

Zeus
You think the underworld scares the ruler of the skies?!
You're joking! Loki must have written your lines!
By the time im done whipping you with wits and rhymes
You'll need a lighter for your ship, 'cause a Viking just died!

Thor
Your glory days are over! The oracle should have told ya!
Ill stick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like Opa!
Here, take these Drachma for your eyes
When you get to River Styx tell your 3 headed bitch I say hi!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC *Random Noises* BATTLES OF HISTORY!


Lyrics submitted by Jirachibi

Zeus vs. Thor song meanings
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