"I would like to, umm do a love poem right now since it's early in the show. I warn you though it is sappy and romantic. So I'll get it out of the way now and I'll go back to the dirty stuff that everyone loves. Or whatever.

It's called 'I Fuck Sluts'"

Sluts! Sluts!

"This wasn't a role call, but thank you."

Sluts! I fuck sluts. Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts.
No ifs, ands, and or buts.
I fuck sluts, I fuck sluts.
Nice girls are nice but no good for nut sucking.
You'll need a serene light to green-light a butt fucking.
But that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking.
Boo to the nice girls. Praise being a slut fucking.

I have a list.
A list?
Yes a list of all the sluts I've missed.
I've never fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed.
And so when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list
Another dumb cum-bucket struck from my nut sucking, suck it slut, slut fucking bucket list.

"So, yes you hear the influences Chaucer.
The pages are blank. I know it.
Why am I lying to you?"

Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink or almond
They can be skinny with big tits or be skinny with small ones
Sluts can be perky, preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash

But other sluts are pretty and funny and smart
These sluts can lift all your thought from your dick to your heart
They can talk about science, music, or art
They can put you together
Or they can pull you apart

But don't trust these sluts
Don't, don't you dare
They'll force you to trust them, and love them, and care
And then they'll be gone and then you'll be aware
Of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.

"So, he was lashing out with sexist language because he had his heart broken. We all learned something."

Lyrics submitted by AbbyZitro

I Fuck Sluts song meanings
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