ANNIE
All the men in my life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons

ASH
"All the men in your life keep getting killed by Candarian Demons."

ANNIE
First there was Ed, a really nice guy.
Didn’t talk too much but I didn’t mind.
I was all set to marry him, but before we could consummate
Ed was killed by a Candarian Demon.

ASH AND SCOTT
Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon

ANNIE
Then it was Daddy

ASH AND SCOTT
Daddy

ANNIE
Who I could count on.

ASH AND SCOTT
Arwoo

ANNI
He loved to read the Necronomicon

ASH AND SCOTT
Book of the Dead

ANNIE
He also enjoyed playing board games. (Good family fun)
But he can’t sink my battleship now
‘cause Dad was killed by a Candarian Demon.

ASH AND SCOTT
Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon

ANNIE
They say love is cruel and I believe them
My heart’s always broken, ‘cause the men in my life
keep getting killed by Candarian Demons.
Why?

SCOTT
"I don’t know."

ASH
"Annie baby, I know it seems bad now: it always does! But I think you’re exaggerating a touch Sugar Bean. I mean, sure, your father and fiancé were killed by Candarian Demons, but that’s only two men, isn’t it? I mean there’s no way that ALL the men in your life could have been killed by Candarian Demons!"

ANNIE
"Oh, no?"
It was high school

ASH AND SCOTT
High School

ANNIE
Senior prom.

ASH AND SCOTT
“Oh yeah!”

ANNIE
Going with my steady Howie Brown.

ASH AND SCOTT
Howie Brown

ANNIE
A perfect night

ASH AND SCOTT
"Howie Brown?"

ANNIE
Like I always dreamed.

ASH AND SCOTT
A little girl’s dream…

ANNIE
But when “Stairway to Heaven” began
Howe was killed by (damn!) a Candarian Demon.

ASH AND SCOTT
Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon, Candarian Demon

ANNIE
All my college boyfriends and my one-night stands!
My male co-workers and platonic gay friends.

GAY FRIENDS
“Hey!”

ANNIE
Every date I go on ends in demon bloodshed.
And now that I’ve met you two guys. I know you’ll soon be dead!

SCOTT
"What the f--?"

ANNIE
They say love is cruel (Shoop shoo-wa)
and I believe them (Shoop shoo-wa),
My heart’s always broken,
‘cause the men in my life
—and I mean ALL the men in my life
EVERY single man! - in my life,
keeps getting killed by Candarian Demons!

ASH
Candarian Demons

SCOTT
Oo-ee-oo-ooo


Lyrics submitted by Susinko

All the Men in My Life Keep Getting Killed by Candarian Demons song meanings
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