The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to
figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence
to be a fucking creep
You're not going to Heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to Heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape
just 'cause you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape
'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
Pretty obvious, just don't fuckin' rape people!
Do you think I have to write that one down for you?
I don't think masturbation is obscene
It's absolutely natural
and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I send gays to fix overpopulation
Boy did that go well
You're not going to Heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to Heaven
You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork
just 'cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork
'cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
I created the universe, you think I'm drawing the line at the fuckin' deli aisle?
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Cathloics
Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that
maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for Heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on Earth could be Heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
and when you earn it, you won't need it
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
and when you earn it, you won't need it
Not gonna give you love
just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love
then the love has gotta come from you
Who needs a thousand metaphors to
figure out you shouldn't be a dick
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence
to be a fucking creep
You're not going to Heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to Heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape
just 'cause you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape
'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
Pretty obvious, just don't fuckin' rape people!
Do you think I have to write that one down for you?
I don't think masturbation is obscene
It's absolutely natural
and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
You make my job a living hell
I send gays to fix overpopulation
Boy did that go well
You're not going to Heaven
Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns
None of you are going to Heaven
You're not my children, you're a bad game of Sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork
just 'cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork
'cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
I created the universe, you think I'm drawing the line at the fuckin' deli aisle?
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Cathloics
Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the thought that
maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for Heaven
Knowing any day might be the day that you die
But maybe life on Earth could be Heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
and when you earn it, you won't need it
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
and when you earn it, you won't need it
Not gonna give you love
just 'cause I know that you want me to
If you want love
then the love has gotta come from you
Lyrics submitted by Smoke_Rulz
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IF god existed, it would agree with this.