This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I know you were needing more of me than I gave
When we heard that your cousin had crashed and passed away
I hate it when I talk without thinking
I will do what you are needing me to do
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
When your best friend got married I was off and gone
You said it wasn't a problem, that there was nothing wrong
With putting my work, my art, and my songs
Before spending time at the wedding
As I listened over the phone-line, you talked and you sounded so sad
Alone in a room full of strangers, some dude saying I treat you bad
Who is this guy and what does he know?
Apparently more than I do
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
When you were born I promised myself I'd always be there for you
To help you feel safe and never alone, no matter what life put you through
Time passed by, I lost my way, and didn't find it for years
A strong young woman now stands in her place
The child has disappeared
Now that I'm home, do you still want me here?
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be good to you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
And if I come home, will you still want me to?
When we heard that your cousin had crashed and passed away
I hate it when I talk without thinking
I will do what you are needing me to do
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
When your best friend got married I was off and gone
You said it wasn't a problem, that there was nothing wrong
With putting my work, my art, and my songs
Before spending time at the wedding
As I listened over the phone-line, you talked and you sounded so sad
Alone in a room full of strangers, some dude saying I treat you bad
Who is this guy and what does he know?
Apparently more than I do
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
When you were born I promised myself I'd always be there for you
To help you feel safe and never alone, no matter what life put you through
Time passed by, I lost my way, and didn't find it for years
A strong young woman now stands in her place
The child has disappeared
Now that I'm home, do you still want me here?
I wanna be good to you
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be good to you
And when I come home, will you still want me to?
And if I come home, will you still want me to?
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I really like this song because it captures the simplicity of how a relationship can veer off course. I am thrown off, though, by the change in voice/meaning with the "when you were born" stanza. Is it the singer's future self reflecting on a dissolved relationship and now he's talking to their daughter? Is he repeating the same mistakes from his marriage/relationship? Did he stay away that long to watch a child grow up and it took years and years to finally "come home?" So sad.
This is a personal song, through and through. I believe this is Scott addressing his struggles with being a good husband in the wake of his brother's failed marriage (if you notice Seth doesn't sing at all on this song) which I think could easily strike home when you can't avoid being away from your family. The heart breaking part of the song is Bob's singing part, in light of his daughter's struggle with brain cancer, it's just seeping with such emotion and poignancy.