Having myself an instant Christmas
I'm adding water to my Yule
Stick some butter in a saucepan
Rusty ladle on my tools
This wouldn't be Christmas without stove top
Uncle Ben or Sara Lee
So string some popcorn on the fishline
But the caramel stuff for me
Well, I had a swimsuit calendar and a black and white TV
But when I killed that guard with a license plate
Well, they took that away from me

Now I got myself a hotplate
I'm pouring stuffing from a tube
I got a jar of pickled pig's feet
And turkey gumbo in a cube
Well living in this 8 by 10 ain't as glossy as it might seem
And if I get that way before they take me to that chair I'm gonna make me some mac n' cheese

I got Christmas in prison but not for very long
And the warden ain't told me what I done wrong
When I get to St. Peter he'll have to agree
Nobody makes a can of chunky babies as good as me
I got Christmas in prison for three consecutive eternities

Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg

Instant Christmas song meanings
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