This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
a.) Dear survivors and future survivors: I think we make our own
kind of hell. If weʼre gonna love someone, anyone, why not start
with ourselves and see where that takes us. Losing makes you grow.
Do you want to lose with me? Growing helps you win. Do want to
lose with me? Oh the things your eyes have seen that I haven't seen,
but I believe you. Do you believe me? And I mean you no harm, but
may the best disasters come to you. We need each other a lot more
than we donʼt. My friends my family I can not keep you, you are
your own, but Iʼll fill my heart with you and weigh it down so I never
go, or maybe take you with me so Iʼll never really be alone. Out
here on these stages of life in these temporary homes. Good news
first. Good news first to numb the pain.
b.) Dear believers and future believers: We can't keep each other
in prisons. If that's what we're serving, that's what we're deserving.
Yes sometimes God never talks, but then sometimes we try not to
listen. Losing makes you grow. Do you want to lose with me? Growing
helps you win. Do want to lose with me? All the trees in the
forest grow tall together, why can't we? We are moments passing
by each other holding on, letting go, opening and closing again.
Like you are the air I breathe, but weeks and worlds apart. Living in
the future that we used to talk about. Good news first. Good news
first to numb the pain.
c.) Dear achievers and future achievers: We will get all we can
take. So take it and use it and through the abuses weʼll make our
own kind of strength. Losing makes you grow. Do you want to lose
with me? Growing helps you win. Do want to lose with me? And Iʼm
open to being wrong, itʼs all a guess. Iʼm more than anything Iʼve
lost (and yes!). I'm the farthest away from home (I think) but I'm
closer to where I'm supposed to be. Closer to peace than I may
ever be again ever. Well Iʼve survived again most of this year, but
It's hard to hold on with your fingers crossed. Good news first.
Good news first to numb the pain.
d.) Dear survivors and future survivors: You are all amazing. You
are important. Flawed and scarred on purpose. I love you all
because youʼre perfect, and with all the rest of me. Losing makes
you grow. Do you want to lose with me? Growing helps you win.
Who wants to lose with me? Good news first. Good news first to
numb the pain. (and on my best days so I can take it)
kind of hell. If weʼre gonna love someone, anyone, why not start
with ourselves and see where that takes us. Losing makes you grow.
Do you want to lose with me? Growing helps you win. Do want to
lose with me? Oh the things your eyes have seen that I haven't seen,
but I believe you. Do you believe me? And I mean you no harm, but
may the best disasters come to you. We need each other a lot more
than we donʼt. My friends my family I can not keep you, you are
your own, but Iʼll fill my heart with you and weigh it down so I never
go, or maybe take you with me so Iʼll never really be alone. Out
here on these stages of life in these temporary homes. Good news
first. Good news first to numb the pain.
b.) Dear believers and future believers: We can't keep each other
in prisons. If that's what we're serving, that's what we're deserving.
Yes sometimes God never talks, but then sometimes we try not to
listen. Losing makes you grow. Do you want to lose with me? Growing
helps you win. Do want to lose with me? All the trees in the
forest grow tall together, why can't we? We are moments passing
by each other holding on, letting go, opening and closing again.
Like you are the air I breathe, but weeks and worlds apart. Living in
the future that we used to talk about. Good news first. Good news
first to numb the pain.
c.) Dear achievers and future achievers: We will get all we can
take. So take it and use it and through the abuses weʼll make our
own kind of strength. Losing makes you grow. Do you want to lose
with me? Growing helps you win. Do want to lose with me? And Iʼm
open to being wrong, itʼs all a guess. Iʼm more than anything Iʼve
lost (and yes!). I'm the farthest away from home (I think) but I'm
closer to where I'm supposed to be. Closer to peace than I may
ever be again ever. Well Iʼve survived again most of this year, but
It's hard to hold on with your fingers crossed. Good news first.
Good news first to numb the pain.
d.) Dear survivors and future survivors: You are all amazing. You
are important. Flawed and scarred on purpose. I love you all
because youʼre perfect, and with all the rest of me. Losing makes
you grow. Do you want to lose with me? Growing helps you win.
Who wants to lose with me? Good news first. Good news first to
numb the pain. (and on my best days so I can take it)
Lyrics submitted by frseraphimrose
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Corrections;
End of part B should be: "Living in the ONLY future that we used to talk about."