I'm trying to leave my ocean home
I'm trying to leave my ocean... though
I don't know nothing of the swamp

and I could be a limbless star
pushing at the sac.. all ready
to delight the lucid shoal

and you don't look impressed
I could be the dolphin of your dreams
willing wings to my chest
one day I'll grow up I'll show you

harpoons and monsoons
won't keep me at bay
there's so much here to happen
my limbs, now my fins
now I'm film on my lips
And why you never call back?
I'm older, I'm colder,
I'm not coming good
a cherub in the ashtray

wriggling back to the source
and thrashing up the waterfalls for what?
somewhere there's a place
and I can be the whale that takes you all

but maybe I'm a lioness
and when I reach the shore
I'll tear apart hyenas with no thought

now organs in a glassy globe
and cloudy with potential
muscle mass and vertebrae begin

trying to figure my place
and feverish with all my dreams awake
And they don't notice me now
But I could be the whale that takes them all


try this and try this
and try this again
I'm never gonna learn
delete me, repeat me
let's try this again
a tiny little fish egg is homeless
and boneless and drifting along
just jelly in the blackness

inching up to the pole
only to be lost among the white
somewhere there is a place
and I could be a pterodactyl god

I'm trying to leave my ocean home

Lyrics submitted by temp1444

Choice Mountain song meanings
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  • +3
    My InterpretationAbout innocence / the state of pre-birth, thoughts about what a pre-born mind is thinking. The ocean works to mean a womb, a lot of references to drifting and swimming and shifting between forms--i.e. unfixed identity or state of being. Finally the more concrete unromantic description of the unborn fetus or fertilized egg ('now organs in a glassy globe / and cloudy with potential / muscle mass and vertebrae begin').

    A song about life in potential, but also with a dark side as if looking back having been hurt by the world (in romance? 'you never call back'), or in expectation of a cycle repeating where innocence gets destroyed or abused ('cherub in the ashtray', 'you don't look impressed', 'delete me, repeat me')

    The idea of trying to return to a state of innocence ('wriggling back to the source') or searching the world's oceans to get back there ('inching up to the pole / only to be lost among the white')--is sad, and the voice of the song seems disembodied and always on the move, I like the way the instrumentation echoes this going between a sort of restless monotonous metronome-type droning like 'ticking' or toiling away at a long task, that feels like searching, and then the release in the chorus puts you in mind of a coral reef with fish scattering away or bubbles rushing up underwater.

    I've read this song criticised for the concept failing to come together with the absurd animal imagery, like switching from fish to a lioness and hyenas, a pterodactyl at the end--I don't mind so much as it feels a little like the voice of a child that's speaking in the song, or someone trying to recapture a child's view.

    The song for me is about wishfully thinking back on innocence that's gone and can't be recovered, and also I think how we reflect back on ourselves when we were younger, something very sad about the human condition of wanting to rush ahead into the outside world without knowing what's out there and how it's going to change us.
    dianaoddon April 04, 2013   Link
  • +1
    My InterpretationMy interpretation is that the speaker is experiencing a sort of crisis. Lines such as "why you never call back" and "I can be the whale that takes you all" shows the speaker is experiencing a lack of confidence or self worth. He wishes to become something greater, so she can call back, or to be bigger than his peers. But thinks on huge evolutionary language to describe his need to be something greater

    I think we can relate to wanting to be something greater when we feel inadequate
    smartjordanon December 19, 2014   Link
  • +1
    General CommentJonathan: ‘Choice Mountain’ is essentially about depression and feeling like there’s no point in doing anything or that you’re not going to achieve anything, I guess. I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that all animal embryos are the same and then they turn into elephants or dolphins or whatever but there’s that point where they’re all the same and all have the potential to be ‘the thing’. The story is one of those… a fish egg just drifting along and thinking what am I going to be? Am I going to be the dolphin of your dreams? I could be a lion or a whale. But I’m probably not going to. Just drifting along in the darkness.

    Jeremy: It’s quite a dense allegory…

    Jonathan: A metaphor of… you’re not going to achieve anything and just carry on undeveloped.

    qwertyfoxon October 30, 2015   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think this is the only song that describes the nothing feeling in such a beautiful metaphorical way
    jonjonwinnyon May 09, 2016   Link
  • 0
    My InterpretationI see this song as using animal evolution as an extended metaphor for the process of an individual trying to grow as a person. This could be from after a break up in which they were told they weren't good enough, a situation in childhood where they were bullied and are now trying to return stronger ('I could be the whale that takes them all'), or a personal life decision to stop being the way you are.
    They seem desperate in the way they evolve, to prove others (or themselves) wrong, or return to their ex lover ('And why you never call back?')
    Though they keep trying, they have failed several times or in the end will fail ('a tiny little fish egg is homeless and boneless and drifting along, just jelly in the blackness')
    Ultimately, the ideal self they are trying to be is unrealistic and unachievable ('A pterodactyl god')
    -"Another slightly ridiculous, preposterous ideal. I wanted it to sound like a little boy’s idea of ‘something cool’." (Everything Everything's analysis of their own lyrics, genius.com/… )

    Amazing song, particularly love the image of 'a cherub in the ashtray'. This band write lyrics brilliantly
    toMUSICiLISTENon July 04, 2016   Link

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