Jim... once had a girl, or should we say, she once had he.
She... showed him her room, isn't it swell, Texas Motel.
She asked him to stay and she told him to sit anywhere.
So Jim looked around and he noticed there wasn't a prayer.

Jim... took off his rug, biding his time, pounding his pud.
He... prayed until two, and then she said, "How 'bout some head?"

She said she was booked in the morning with Falwell and Pat.
Jim told her he wasn't, and dribbled some spoo in her lap.

And... when he awoke, he was alone, she'd honed his cone.
So... he let her fly, isn't it swell, Texas Motel

But then, suddenly...

Picture yourself with a whore in New Orleans,
with big purple welts, all over her bod.
Somebody calls and you answer quite slowly.
It's the board from Assembly O' God

Ignorant crackers like you've never seen, groveling under your bed.
Look for the girl with the spoo in her lap, and she's gone!

Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww!

We saw her go down to a room by the airport,
where Jimmy gets off watching pornography.
Everyone smiles as we tread through his horseshit,
that grows so incredibly high.

Newspaper writers appear at his door, waiting to take Jim away.
He climbs in the back with his head up his ass, and he's gone!
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
[everybody!] Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww!

Picture yourself on your own TV station,
with brain-dead supporters with tears in their eyes.
Suddenly someone is there at commercial,
the girl with the pee-hole surprise.

Louisiana hooker with herpes.
[c'mon now!] Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww! Ow!

Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Louisiana hooker with herpes.
Owwww! Ow!



Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel.
Don't mind the smell.
It's nothing to get hung about.
Please leave your cash on the table.

Weeping looks better with eyes closed...
While I'm confessing all my sins.
[Oh, please forgive me. Oh, I've sinned!]
It's getting hard to plook someone, but it all works out.
It's all pornography to Jim.

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel.
We might go to hell.
But we'll have lots of company.
Falwell and Pat and that weasel.

No one knows who's in my dream...
[Bud McFarlane, ladies & gentlemen]
I mean it must be high or low. (I think)
[freshly indicted] I mean, I can't you know, tune in, but it's all right.
[He can plea bargain this one]
That is, I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel.
Don't mind the smell.
It's just some jizz from Jimmy-boy.
How 'bout some hay for the donkey?

No one knows, sometimes think it's me...
[Ed Meese, ladies & gentlemen] But you know, I know when it's a dream.
[I think]
I think I know, I mean, I guess, but it's all wrong.
[Wait a minute, that's right]
That is, I think I disagree. [Uhh...]

Let me take you down, 'cause we're going to... the Texas Motel.
Don't mind the smell.
It's just some old pornography.
Just keep on strokin' that sausage.
Just keep on strokin' that sausage.
[Jimmy-boy!] Just keep on strokin' that sausage.


Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg

Texas Medley song meanings
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