My wife

Is made up of some parts

She’s got a lot of hair

She’s got a couple nostrils

I think she’s got a spleen

She argues with the fridge

And assaults my Barbeque sauce

She hisses at highway traffic

I think she’s really keen



My wife

Calls knocked-down road signs pheasants

She makes words into chicks

She doesn’t smell like aluminum

She’s never stabbed my groin

She owns electronic pork

She’s threatened me with happy horns

She let me name our cats

After obscure keyboard characters



When we’re having a lousy time

She can summon carnivals into existence with the power of her mind

And if our waitress is depressed

She can hold a fork in her tongue ring while I pick up my straw with my nosepit



My wife

Likes running over hookers

But only in Grand Theft Auto

Her pet name for me is “numbnuts”

Somehow she makes it cute

She made me a giant tampon

She talks to infomercials

She lets me touch her boobs

I think she’s really keen


Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg

My Wife song meanings
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