This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
If the search has been long and futile and brutal
And if you squint trying to reconnect the bosom of
Your hood rum love (hey baby)
You reach out and into the absence and gasping
The vastness grabs you like an alien embrace
Your face to it's face
No end and neither beginning you're spinning
Your breathless orb but in a dark and hateful star
And evil world
Where would I ever be without you?
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
Your life must surely be ending and trembling
You realize you never lived a day at all (wait)
And it's all your fault (wow)
It all seems unspeakably vile and while
You wretch the memory above, you understood
The vandal lies into his hood
Where would I ever be without you?
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact 'em?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
Look there the goblins dressed up like a wound
Mutants are vagrant and hateful
Look there the mirror a zombie stands staring
Vacant and glaring pronouncing your name
As you're saying
About to die
Where would I ever be without you? (No fucking clue)
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
About to die
You're already dead
But you're about to die
(Damn, you got it)
(Alright awesome)
And if you squint trying to reconnect the bosom of
Your hood rum love (hey baby)
You reach out and into the absence and gasping
The vastness grabs you like an alien embrace
Your face to it's face
No end and neither beginning you're spinning
Your breathless orb but in a dark and hateful star
And evil world
Where would I ever be without you?
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
Your life must surely be ending and trembling
You realize you never lived a day at all (wait)
And it's all your fault (wow)
It all seems unspeakably vile and while
You wretch the memory above, you understood
The vandal lies into his hood
Where would I ever be without you?
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact 'em?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
Look there the goblins dressed up like a wound
Mutants are vagrant and hateful
Look there the mirror a zombie stands staring
Vacant and glaring pronouncing your name
As you're saying
About to die
Where would I ever be without you? (No fucking clue)
How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it?
Foolish I know but I'm about to die
About to die
About to die
You're already dead
But you're about to die
(Damn, you got it)
(Alright awesome)
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If the search has been long and futile and brutal, and if you squint trying to recollect the bosom of your hoodlum love... (Hey, baby)
You reach out and into the absence and, gasping, the vastness grabs you like an alien embrace, your face to its face...
No end, and neither beginning. You're spinning -- you're breathless, orbiting a dark and hateful star, an evil world.
Where would I ever be without you? How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it? Foolish I know.
But I'm about to die, about to die, about to die, about to die.
Your life must surely be ending, and, trembling, you realize you never lived a day at all, (Wait...) and it's all your fault. (Wow!)
It all seems unspeakably vile, and while you wretch the memory of all you understood, the vandal laughs into his hood.
Where would I ever be without you? How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact 'em? Foolish I know.
But I'm about to die, about to die, about to die, about to die.
Look there, the goblin's dressed up like a wound. Mutants are vagrant and hateful.
Look there, the mirror: a zombie stands staring, vacant and glaring, pronouncing your name. As you're saying...
('bout to die, 'bout to die...) About to die, about to die. ('bout to die, 'bout to die...)
Where would I ever be without you? (...no fucking clue.) How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it? Foolish I know.
But I'm about to die, about to die, about to die, about to die.
('bout to die, 'bout to die...) About to die, about to die. ('bout to die, 'bout to die...)
(You're already dead... but you're about to die)
Holy shit, this song! Absolutely amazing. I can barely wrap my head around that drumbeat, nevermind everything else. Loving all the studio chatter hidden in the background.
My pick of the album for sure!!!
"If a search has been long and futile and brutal And if you squint trying to recollect the bosom of your hoodrum love (hey baby) You reach out and into the absence and gasping The vastness grabs you like an alien embrace Your face to its face
No end and neither beginning, you're spinning Your breathless orbit in a dark and hateful star An evil world
Where would I ever be without you? How could I hope to seize the tablet of values and redact it? Foolish, I know, but I'm about to die About to die About to die About to die
Your life must surely be ending and trembling You realize you never lived a day at all and it's all your fault It all seems unspeakably vile and while You wretch the memory of all you understood The vandal laughs into his hood
Where would I ever be without you? How could I hope to sieze the tablet of values and redact 'em? Foolish, I know, but I'm about to die About to die About to die About to die
Look there, the goblins dressed up like a wound Mutants are vagrant and hateful Look there, the mirror, a zombie stands staring Vacant and glaring pronouncing your name As you're saying*
'Bout to die 'Bout to die (about to die) 'Bout to die (about, about to die) 'Bout to die
Where would I ever be without you? How could I hope to sieze the tablet of values and redact it? Foolish, I know, but I'm about to die About to die About to die About to die
About to die (repeated)
You're already dead (repeated)
But you're about to die "
It's about facing existential angst after a breakup.
You leave your "hoodlum love" and you're forced to define your own place in the world without her.