We've got a werewolf going off like a badly timed alarm clock;
I think it's ringing armaggedon, so we'd better hit the snooze.
I've got a lot of things on my mind, I've got my own neurosis,
And I think I may be more scared we'll win than I am worried we'll lose.

You know, I didn't volunteer to be a raw hide chew for goodness;
I was happy with my books and my papers and my state of grace.
But when destiny calls collect, you can't refuse the charges,
And now the best part of the evil on Earth is out to eat my face.

This is not how I wanted to spend my summer vacation.
This is not what I wanted to do for the rest of my days.
Fighting evil and saving the world may be an honest vocation,
But it isn't the sort of a talent a sane girl displays!

Now it's madness on a Monday, every Tuesday's total terror;
Merely whispering 'it's Wednesday' really makes me want to cry.
By the time we tackle Thursday, I just want it to be over,
But the forecast calls for Friday -- better kiss your ass goodbye.

If we can make it through the weekend, there's a chance that we'll survive this,
And if you really think I mean that, then I've got a bridge to sell.
We're like a shitty Star Trek spin-off setting sail for cancellation,
And I wish that we were going to prom, but no, we're going to Hell.

This is not how I wanted to spend my summer vacation...

I used to think my life was hard when they made me clean my room.
Now I'm longing for that life of leisure as I have to save the world from certain doom -- again.
It's like the whole planet's a really dumb puppy that's hell-bent on suicide,
And nobody knows how to get the thing neutered, or make it stop barking, or keep it inside...

You'd better find another girlfriend if you want a lasting lifespan.
I think my life's a Roach Motel that's being run by Norman Bates.
You've got a problem when you're thinking the transvestite psycho killers
Might just rank higher on the sanity scale than roughly half of the Fates.

So this is life -- they never told me it was going to be easy,
But that doesn't mean I have to be a prison bitch for destiny.
I've got a message for the Powers That Be -- 'hate you, the farm, and Kansas.
I've got a crossbow and I'm taking the dog. I hope you suffer. Love, me.'

This is not how I wanted to spend my summer vacation.
When I chose my career, this is not what I wanted to be.
Please enjoy your blood and entrails and eternal uphill battle.
I've got a crossbow and I'm taking the dog. I hope you suffer. Love, me.

Written on: 2006-10-17. Seanan McGuire

Lyrics submitted by Nonny

My Summer Vacation (The Slayer's Lament) song meanings
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