Â??Dungeons and Dragonsâ?? by Dr. Demento

Narrator: Dungeons and Dragons, Satan's game. Your children like it or not, are attracted in their weaker years to the Occult and a game like D+D fuels their imagination and makes them feel special, while drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowels of El Diablo. This afternoon the Dead Alewives watch tower invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe the previously unobservable as a hidden camera takes you to the inner sanctum of Dungeons and Dragons

Graham: Galstaff you have entered the door to the north. You are now by yourself standing in a dark room, the pungent stench of mildew emanates off the wet dungeon walls.

Nightblade: Where are the Cheetos!

Graham: They're right next to you.

Galstaff: I cast a spell.

Nightblade: Where's the Mountain Dew!

Graham: In the Fridge. DUH!

Galstaff: I wanna cast a spell.

Nightblade: Can I have a Mountain Dew!

Graham: Yes, you can have a Mountain Dew just go get it.

Galstaff: I can cast any of these right, on the list?

Graham: Yes, any any of the first level ones.

Nightblade: I'm gonna get a soda, any one want one? Hey Graham I'm not in the room right?

Graham: What room?

Galstaff: I wanna cast magic missile.

Nightblade: The room where he's casting all these spells from!

Graham: He hasn't cast any thing yet.

Galstaff: I am though if you'd listen. I'm casting Magic Missile.

Graham: Why are you casting Magic Missile, there's nothing to attack here.

Galstaff: I- I- I'm attacking the darkness.

(laughing)

Graham: Fine fine you attack the darkness there's an elf in front of you.

Picard: Whoa! That's me right?

Graham: He's wearing a brown tunic and he has gray hair and blue eyes.

Picard: No I don't, I have gray eyes.

Graham: Let me see that sheet.

Picard: Well it says I have, well it says I have blue but I decided I wanted gray eyes.

Graham: Whatever, ok, you guys can talk now if you want.

Galstaff: Hello.

Picard: Hello.

Galstaff: I am Galstaff, Sorcerer of Light.

Picard: Then how come you had to cast Magic Missile?

(laughing)

Graham: why- why- why- You guys are being attacked.

Nightblade: Do I see that happening!?!

Graham: NO! You're outside by the tavern.

Nightblade: Cool, I get drunk!

Graham: Ugh. There are there are seven ogres surrounding you.

Picard: How can they surround us? I had Mordenkainens Magical Watch Dog cast!

Graham: No you didn't.

Nightblade: I'm getting drunk! Are there any girls there?

Picard: I totally did. You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure, and I said no, but I need material components for all my spells, so I cast Mordenkainens Faithful Watch Dog.

Graham: But you never actually cast it.

Nightblade: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

Graham: Ugh. Yeah you are.

Nightblade: Are there any girls there?

Graham: Yeah!

Picard: I did though; I completely said when you asked me...

Graham: No you didn't. You didn't actually say that you were casting the spell so now there's ogres. Ok.

Nightblade: OGRES!?! Man, I got an ogre slaying knife! It's got a +9 against ogres!

Graham: You're not there, you're getting DRUNK!

Nightblade: Ok, but if there's any girls there I wanna do them!

Narrator: There you have it. A frightening look into Americas most frightening past time. Remember that it's not you children's fault that's their being drawn into a satanic world of nightmare. It's their gym teachers fault for making them feel out cast when they couldn't do one single pull up.






Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings, edited by Mellow_Harsher

Dungeons and Dragons Lyrics as written by Armen Donelian

Lyrics © DONELIAN MUSIC

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

Dungeons and Dragons song meanings
Add Your Thoughts

0 Comments

sort form View by:
  • No Comments

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

More Featured Meanings

Album art
Fast Car
Tracy Chapman
"Fast car" is kind of a continuation of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run." It has all the clawing your way to a better life, but in this case the protagonist never makes it with her love; in fact she is dragged back down by him. There is still an amazing amount of hope and will in the lyrics; and the lyrics themselve rank and easy five. If only music was stronger it would be one of those great radio songs that you hear once a week 20 years after it was released. The imagery is almost tear-jerking ("City lights lay out before us", "Speeds so fast felt like I was drunk"), and the idea of starting from nothing and just driving and working and denigrating yourself for a chance at being just above poverty, then losing in the end is just painful and inspiring at the same time.
Album art
Son Şansın - Şarkı Sözleri
Hayalperest
This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere. In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
Album art
Gentle Hour
Yo La Tengo
This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version. Great version of a great song,
Album art
Amazing
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran tells a story of unsuccessfully trying to feel “Amazing.” This track is about the being weighed down by emotional stress despite valiant attempts to find some positivity in the situation. This track was written by Ed Sheeran from the perspective of his friend. From the track, we see this person fall deeper into the negative thoughts and slide further down the path of mental torment with every lyric.
Album art
Plastic Bag
Ed Sheeran
“Plastic Bag” is a song about searching for an escape from personal problems and hoping to find it in the lively atmosphere of a Saturday night party. Ed Sheeran tells the story of his friend and the myriad of troubles he is going through. Unable to find any solutions, this friend seeks a last resort in a party and the vanity that comes with it. “I overthink and have trouble sleepin’ / All purpose gone and don’t have a reason / And there’s no doctor to stop this bleedin’ / So I left home and jumped in the deep end,” Ed Sheeran sings in verse one. He continues by adding that this person is feeling the weight of having disappointed his father and doesn’t have any friends to rely on in this difficult moment. In the second verse, Ed sings about the role of grief in his friend’s plight and his dwindling faith in prayer. “Saturday night is givin’ me a reason to rely on the strobe lights / The lifeline of a promise in a shot glass, and I’ll take that / If you’re givin’ out love from a plastic bag,” Ed sings on the chorus, as his friend turns to new vices in hopes of feeling better.