Blaze of Grey

It's not like we didn't go the extra mile we tried.
Got painted into corners had to wait until the floors dried.
Lying in bed, letting thoughts drift ahead may they touch the rift
That turns a sure thing into ifs
Perhaps the cliffs we climb sap the drifting mind,
I couldn't let it go still I left it all behind.
I miss you in my bed it's getting harder to wake up,
I used loved the way we fought then fucked to make up.

But now you wouldn't know me see I've changed in ways.
Gone over the alleged edge in these strange days.
But be that as it may, I mingle every single day,
On the surface and do things out of love on purpose.
With nervous ticks, I keep my nose in my business,
That's filled with failed tactics, walk the line like a fascist.
I could of practiced more acting but I'm looking for fulfilling,
Feeling the pulling of sitting back and just chilling.

I'm in process of making rapid progress,
Got some projects on the go but it's slow at the office.
Glad I don't have a girl, but I want to be wanted.
I approach undaunted. See if you got, you flaunt it.
I'm on it like my ex on my best man.
Thought sex was less than expected. Never been so disrespected.
I'm getting past the point shoots keep pushing through the ground,
But fuck it, I ain't tripping but I keep falling down.

It's been real rainy, my bed's been so empty,
Though I know there's plenty of fish in the sea to tempt me
But this time is meant for me to vent and finding plenty
Of things to do inside but not really doing anything
But thinking and reading and drinking and dreaming,
And staying up late night in smoky bars screaming.
Let me in. Let me out. Hold it in Get it out.
Get a grip got a hold it fits now break the mold.

Horus]
Sleeping most of my days away
Then waking up in a blaze of gray
Just can't pull it off and face the day
So I'm sleeping most of my days away

Just another bitter literalist hate liberal arts
Literature and get literally pissed
Pour out a little liquor for your dead mind
What a bitter bind you can let the light in and still
There ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
Only darkness everyday
I wonder this time where's she gone,
And if she's gone to stay.

I must insist, for this US to exist,
We have to learn to live alone and keep growing on our own.
I know right from wrong and know sight from song,
And slight but strong, I take flight, BUT despite I'm hanging on.
Damn right I'm doing dope things, I can't help growing
Gotta keep on keeping on, the lawn needs mowing.
The dishes need doing, I need to do some more screwing,
And usually I'm pretty choosy but when boozy only human...

And if you see me at the party wearing nothing but a lamp shade
You'll know I've come apart but that at least I've got bandaids.
The band played on for the handmaidens who remained
And the dudes who stayed on, got laid til day dawned.
I've made claims before that were different than my aims
Now I stand behind my words and I'm not calling out names.
Like which Claire was it, and where was it located,
I still have the naked photos of a few ladies I dated.

I know you're listening cause sometimes I can hear you,
And if it's nearby, I can feel your heart beating
We keep leaving things being it's not easy to contain,
Keeping ominously calm when it never stays the same
Weaving through time like your touch could soothe my mind,
I used to find clues to who I was but now I'm blind drunk
On wine reaching punk rock plateaus then retching,
And I'm not depressed I just passed out resting.