"21 Things I Want in a Lover" as written by and Alanis Morissette....
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush 'cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...

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"21 Things I Want in a Lover" as written by Alanis Morissette

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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21 Things I Want in a Lover song meanings
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  • +1
    General CommentI love this song, it's just (and I don't mean to be picky) but she lists 18 things, not 21...I've always wondered why she did that...
    slimshorty11on March 29, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General CommentLOL...doesn't she mean one thing I want in 21 lovers...such as youth and beauty or those other deep, important, mature qualities that define those lasting, loyal, loving relationships.
    TurnMeOnon January 24, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti didnt think this was one of her better songs. i mean she's just listing things she looks for in a man(or from recent rumors, a woman) wut does evry1 else think about it?
    pissgreenmartianon April 14, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI like it - she's just saying that if she could choose her ideal man he would have all these things, but he doesn't necessarily need them. I agree it's not quite as deep as some of her others though :)
    battered_angelon May 17, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think it's a good song, most celebrities (and quite a few people in general) choose the person they are with just based on looks... I think it's good to have someone that actually sees the more important parts of a relationship.
    hydrogenon May 25, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis is actually one my fave Alanis songs--I like how she wove together so many different parts of a person. It's not easy to list things like that and then make a good song out of them. Plus, I just love how the song begins. Great for blasting in the car. 8-)
    musicchick44on June 03, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI was suprised by how well this song flowed together, even though she's offering some really complex and compound sentences as lyrics: "Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom." I also have to admit that I enjoy this song because it lists off the things that I'm looking for in a lover.... you've gotta love a song that you can really relate to.
    dude_who_writeson June 20, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti heard this brillant take off of this song by an australian comic band called tripod... abc.net.au/triplej/breakfast/grabbag/…... go here and check out the tripod songs they are brilliant
    though maybe you might not get the aussie humour... still brilliant songs
    mintie2on July 23, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentTo me, it rocks because of the things themselves, that she desires. I think these qualities are all spiritually sound and courageous. Also, it took me a long time to realize that I have a choice in the matter!
    icyuruon June 25, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentDid you count curious and communicative at the end...? That and one more somewhere in there, because I count 21...

    I guess it depends on how you divide the requests, into one or two, for those two-part conditions...
    Buddha of Suburbiaon April 12, 2005   Link

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