The Ballad of Irving

He was short and fat and rode out of the West
With a Magen David on his silver vest
He was mean nasty right clear through,
which was kind of weird ‘cause he was yellow, too

They called him Irving
Big Irving
Big, Short Irving
Big, Short, Fat Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Irving
Irving

He came from the old Bar Mitzvah spread
With a 10-gallon yarmulke on his head
He always followed his mother’s wishes
Even on the range he used two sets of dishes

Irving
Big, Fat Irving
Big Sissy Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Irving
Irving

A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he
But Irving was looking for one forty-three
Walked Sol’s Saloon like a man insane
And ordered three fingers of two-cents plain

Irving
Big, Fat Irving
Big Sport Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Irving
Irving

One day Bad Max happened into town
His aim was to shoot Fat Irving down
Bad Max said “Draw, and draw right now”
And Irving drew—drew a picture of a cow

Irving
Big Fat Irving
Big Gun-fighter Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Irving
Irving

The James Boys was comin’ on the train at first sun
And the town said, “Irving, we need your gun.”
When that train pulled in at the break of dawn
Irving’s gun was there, but Irving was gone

Irving
Big, Fat Irving
Big help, Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Irving
Irving

Well, finally, Irving got three slugs in the belly
It was right outside the frontier deli
He was sittin’ there twirlin’ his gun around
And Butterfingers Irving gunned himself down

Irving
Big, Fat Irving
Big Dumb-dumb Irving
Big Dumb-dumb Dead Irving
The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West

Really…


Lyrics submitted by SongMeanings, edited by lannonx23

The Ballad of Irving song meanings
Add your thoughts

No Comments

sort form View by:
  • No Comments

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top
explain