"The Girl Least Likely To" as written by Steven Morrissey and Andy Rourke....
How many times have I been around?
Recycled papers paving the ground
Well, she lives for the written word
And people come second, or possibly third

And there is no style, but I say "well done"
To the girl least likely to
Oh, deep in my heart, how I wish I was wrong
But deep in my heart, I know I am not
And there's enough gloom in her world, I'm certain
Without my contribution

So I sit, and I smile, and I say "well done"
To the girl least likely to
Page after page of sniping rage
An English singe or an American tinge
"There's a publisher," she said, "...in the new year"
(It's never in this year)

I do think this, but I can't admit it
To the girl least likely to
So one more song with no technique
One more song which seems all wrong...
And oh, the news is bad again
See me as I am again

And the scales of justice sway one way
In the rooms of those least likely to
Oh, deep in my heart, how I want to be wrong
But the moods and the styles too frequently change
From twenty one to twenty five, from twenty five to twenty nine

And I sit, and I smile, and I say "well done"
To the girl least likely to
Oh, one more song about The Queen
Or standing around the shops with thieves
"But somebody's got to make it!" she screams
"So why why can't it be me?"
But she would die if we heard her sing from the heart
Which is hurt

So how many times will I shed a tear?
And another stage of verse to cheer
When you shine in the public eye, my dear
Please remember these nights
When I sit and support with a dutiful smile
Because there's nothing I can say
So chucking, churning, and turning the knife
On everything (except their own life)
And a clock somewhere strikes midnight
And an explanation - it drains me
If only there could be a way

There is a different mood all over the world
A different youth, unfamiliar views
And dearest, it could all be for you
So will you come down and I'll meet you?
And with no more poems, with nothing to hear
Oh darling, it's all for you...
Darling, it's all for you...
Oh darling, it's all for you...
Oh darling, it's all for you...


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"The Girl Least Likely To" as written by Steven Morrissey Andy Rourke

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

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8 Comments

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  • +1
    General Commentactually, i think this song could quite possibly have been written about me (if morrissey was psychic).
    1imaginarygirlon December 30, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song makes Morrissey sound so sweet..that fact that he's being nice to this girl who'll probably never make it...He seems concerned about her feelings. :)
    enolfon March 04, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't recall where I first read this, but this song has almost precisely the same tune as the Cookies' "Only to Other People". It's uncanny! (But quite reasonable, as Morrissey is a fan of theirs!)
    alia612on April 18, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI wonder if 'the girl' is a real person, and how she felt about being told her songs and writings were so poor in this way!
    Komekoon January 29, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI cannot believe nobody has commented on this amazing song! It is one of Morrissey's strongest songs and not suprising that it is a B-Side, for most of Morrissey's greatest songs are B-Sides. He sure likes making fans work a little to find his best material.
    JJKelsallon June 14, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think it's Morrissey singing to somebody, maybe even a younger version of himself, who has an awful lot of determination to "make it" but just isn't doing the right things...but he loves "her" to some extent, so protects her graciously...but then realizes that she could possibly make it and now he doesn't want her to because he is scared of being forgotten and maybe this is why he wasn't too supportive of her, but eventually makes his peace and feels happy for her
    youngoneon April 07, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think that this may be about Morrissey either criticizing his own self or alter ego. At least that was my first thought.
    mrsaintlouison June 25, 2017   Link
  • -1
    General CommentAndy Rourke wrote this song. It totally rules and so does he.
    SoundgardeNirvanaon May 28, 2007   Link

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